Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Dude's Day out ....

Yesterday, we went to Ponmudi, a place 80Km away from Trivandrum and is at the mountain top of Western Ghat. We took food along with us and so it was more a picnic for us. The drive to the table top was awesome. 22 Hair-Pin Curves and 60 degree elevation of the roads will make anyone get scared for the first time. It took around 2 hrs. to reach there and the view from there was too good. It was green all around and was a retreat for the eyes. One can actually feel the pressure difference and the cool wind added to the serenity of the place. It was a great feeling being there. Took a lot of pictures, had our lunch there. On the way back we visited the house of one of my friend's relative. He was an old person of 90 years, but age was not a limiting factor for him. He was running a charity organization for the spastic children, a totally nonprofit institution. I was amazed to see the complex of his institution and his house with hundreds of different varieties of plants. Looking at all those, it made me believe that determination is the root of all great deeds. Finally, towards the evening we returned home. A day full of fun and great feelings.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Pune to Trivandrum

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. ~Anonymous

When it feels like that
we can no longer take what we've been taking, we decide to take a vacation. With crappy stuffs going all around and getting bored with all the daily mechanical life, myself and my friend decided to go for a vacation. But a vacation will be incomplete if it is not crazy. So we made up our mind to drive down from Pune to Trivandrum, a distance of around 1500 Kms. With all necessary stuffs packed up, we started at around 11PM of 19th Dec. 2007 from Pune. The road was known to us and Kerala being the native place of my friend, there was no problem finding the correct routes. We reached Mangalore the next day around 1PM. Mangalore being the place where I spent 4 yrs. of my engineering, we dropped by my college. It was a surprise to see the changed scene of the college. There was developments all around, with newer hostels, new department buildings. I met the HOD of computer engineering. It was a real pleasure. Then we had our lunch in the most favorite resturent of my college days. Then we again headed for the next part of our journey. But 24 hrs. of continous driving was getting just too much for both of us. So we dropped by Calicut in a hotel for the night and then started for Trivandrum the next day again. Finally, by afternoon we reached our destination. Except for 2 small incidents, the whole journey was safe and sound. We travelled 1500 Kms by car, burnt 100 litres of petrol in 1.5 days; reaching Trivandrun by afternoon of 21st Dec. 2007. It will be one of the memorable trip for both me and my friend. Now enjoying nice homely food in my friend's place. A lot of plans in store for the next few days.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I

Found this verse to be extremely soothing and beautiful. Inspired by Psalm 61:2.

When things go wrong as they sometimes do,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

When the lonely times come and I feel I just can’t make it through,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

When my sunny days are darkened by my grief,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

When my body is aching and I can’t find any relief,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

When my family is going through heart ache and pain,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.

When no one will stand with me, with Christ I will remain,
For, Jesus is that Rock that is higher than I.

Jesus, you are my Rock, my Deliverer, my Fortress, my Strength,
my Protector, my Supply, my Plan, my Future, my Inspiration,
and You have become my Salvation.
Jesus, I am forever yours.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Privileged to be younger...

Sometimes I feel that I was lucky to be born as a younger sibling to my elder brother. Throughout my life till now, I learnt a lot from his life. In school, when he topped the board exam, it gave me motivation to do the same. And, I did. His achievements were my guiding star and his mistakes were my "don't". And the life went by till today, with that notion. Materialistically, I got a lot from him . Recently, when he came from the States for vacation, he got a lot of stuffs for me, and I don't even have words to thank him. The only thing I can say is, I am really privileged to be my elder bro's younger brother.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

a month so cool ....

The month of October was quite good for me. My parents were with me, for which I enjoyed every bit of the good food, the family talks, shopping, head-massage. I felt more responsible for the homely chores, be it buying vegetables for meals or just to take parents out. I almost bid farewell to my chaos full life in this month. I maintained a strict 9AM to 6PM time table during the weekdays. But as the days for parents' return journey is approaching, I am feeling a bit suffocated as I will be back to my old solitary days. Although I enjoy loneliness but there is something special about living with parents. Few more days to go and I will be back to bedlam.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Power of NOW !!!

Reflection of Quarter Life Crisis or harmful effects of some One Sided Love/Affection or personal problems or just a normal age related problem... I don't know. But, one thing is really true to me. I AM CONFUSED. I have repeatedly written about it in my blogs with the hope that the Pandora's Box will be opened someday and I will get a way through, but all in vain. I could never really find an answer. Recently, one of my friends advised me to try spirituality. So, with an impulse I bought the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Till now just read the forward and preface of the book, and found it very encouraging. The book teaches how to attain inner peace and spiritual enlightenment just with the power of our mind, without really changing the external factors which are usually the root causes of the psychological pain most of us suffer from. But this can be done only if we leave our analytical mind and its false created self, the ego, behind. The journey is challenging and difficult. One para from the book states like this...

"I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train - everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live.
I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. `Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the `I' and the `self' that `I' cannot live with." "Maybe," I thought, "only one of them is real."

Hence I get the silver lining. Lemme see, what in store for me...

Monday, October 22, 2007

Madhushala (The Tavern)

An English Translation of the golden classic Madhushaala by Hariwansh Rai Bachhan

Seeking wine, the drinker leaves home for the tavern.
Perplexed, he asks, "Which path will take me there?"
People show him different ways, but this is what I have to say,
"Pick a path and keep walking. You will find the tavern."

Hark! The wine gurgles and splashes as it falls from the goblet.
Hark! It sounds like the tinkling of bells on the feet of an intoxicated girl.
We have reached there, a few steps are we from the tavern,
Hark! Hear the laughter of the drinkers, as the fragrance of the tavern wafts through the air.

Call it not lava, though it flows red, like a tongue of flame.
Call it not the blistered heart, for it is only foaming wine.
Lost memories serve the wine, that intoxicates with pain.
If you find happiness in suffering, come to my tavern.

He who has burnt all scriptures with his inner fire,
Has broken temples, mosques and churches with carefree abandon,
And has cut the nooses of pandits, mullahs and priests ---
Only he is welcome in my tavern.

Alas, he that with eager lips, has not kissed this wine,
Alas, he that trembling with joy, has not touched a brimming goblet,
He that has not drawn close the coy wine-maiden by her hand,
Has wasted this honey-filled tavern of Life.

My beloved wine-maiden seems a priest; her wine as pure as the Ganga's waters.
With unbroken pace, she rotates the rosary of wine glasses.
"Drink more! Drink more!" she intones in prayer.
I am Shiva incarnate and this tavern is my temple.

Only once every year, the fires of Holi are lit.
Only once is the game played and are garlands of lamps lit.
But, O, those who are lost in the world, come and see the tavern any day,
The tavern celebrates a Holi, every morning and a Diwali every night.

Whatever the taste on my lips, it tastes like wine.
Whatever the vessel in my hands, it feels like a goblet.
Every face dissolves into the features of my wine-maiden,
And whatever be in front of my eyes, they fill only with visions of the tavern.

Ah, Beautiful, your lovely face is like a crystal bowl,
Whose precious gem is your beauty, sparkling like sweet, intoxicating wine.
I am the wine-maiden and I am the guest.
Where sit we together, there indeed is the tavern.

A mere two days she served me but the young maiden is sulking now.
She fills my goblet and passes it curtly to me.
Her coquetry and charms are lost arts;
All the tavern wishes now is to fulfil its obligations.

Life is short. How much love can I give and how much can I drink?
They say, "He departs," at the very moment that he is born.
While he is being welcomed, I have seen his farewell being prepared.
They started closing the shutters of the tavern, as soon as they were raised.

O maiden! Which burning heart has been pacified by drinking?
Every drinker repeats only one chant, "More! More!"
Seeking satisfaction, he leaves behind so many desires.
Of how many such hopes is this tavern a tomb?

Yama will come as the wine-maiden and bring his black wine,
Drink, and know no more consciousness, O carefree one.
This is the ultimate trance, the ultimate wine-maiden and the ultimate goblet.
O traveller, drink judiciously, for you will never find the tavern again.

Each day, O companion, spills more wine from my life.
Each day, O fortunate one, this goblet, my body, is burnt.
Each day, O lovely woman, this wine-maiden, my youth, distances itself from me.
Each day, O beauty, this tavern, my Life, is drying up.

When from the earthen jar of my body, the wine of life is emptied,
When the final wine-maiden comes with her bowl of poison,
When my hand forgets the touch of the goblet, and my lips the taste of wine,
Whisper in my ears, "the wine, the goblet, the tavern!"

Touch not my lips with tulasi, but with the goblet, when I die.
Touch not my tongue with the Ganga's waters, but with wine, when I die.
When you bear my corpse, pallbearers, remember this!
Call not the name of God, but call to the truth that is the tavern.

Weep over my corpse, if you can weep tears of wine.
Sigh dejectedly for me, if you are intoxicated and carefree.
Bear me on your shoulders, if you stumble drunkenly along.
Cremate me on that land, where there once was a tavern.

Pour on my ashes, not ghee, but wine.
Tie to a vine of grapes, not a waterpot, but a wine-goblet.
And when, my darling, you must call guests for the ritual feast,
Do this - call those who will drink and have the tavern opened for them.

If anyone asks my name, say it was, "The Drunkard".
My work? I drank and passed the goblet to everyone.
O Beloved, if they ask my caste, say only that I was mad.
Say my religion worshipped goblets and then chant with your rosary, "The tavern, the tavern!"

O son, raise not water at my final rites, but wine in your palms.
And sit somewhere, having filled the Ganga with wine.
If you can wet the earth somewhere, my soul will be satisfied.
Offer your libations to your ancestral spirits by reading repeatedly, "The tavern, the tavern."




madira meiN jaane ko ghar se chaltaa hai peenewaala
kis path se jaaooN asmanjas meiN hai wo bhola bhaala
alag alag pathu batalaathi sab paR maiN ye bataata hooN
raah pakaD tu ek chalaa-chal paa jaayega madhushaala

sun kal-kal chal-chal madhu-ghaT se girti pyalOn meiN haala
sun run Jhun-Jhun chal witran karti madhusa ki baala
bas aa pahunche door nahiN kuch chaar kadam aur chalna hai
chahak rahe sun peene waale mehak rahi le madhushaala

naal sura kee dhaar lapaT see keh na dena ise jwaaLa
madira hai math isko keh dena uRR ka chaala
dard nasha hai is madira ka wigat smritiyaN saaqi haiN
peeDa meiN anand jise ho aaye meri madhushaala

dharm-grandh sab jala chuki hai jiske antar kee jwaala
mandir masjid girje sab ko toD chuka jo matwaala
panDit momin paadriyoN ke fandoN ko jo kaat chuka
kar sakti hai aaj usee ka swaagat meri madhushaala

laalayeet adhRoN se jisne haaye nahiN choomi haala
harshit kampit kar se jisne haay madhu ka chooaa pyaala
haath pakaD kar lajjit saaqi ko paas nahiN jisne kheencha
wyarth sukha Daali jeewan kee usne mahdumay madhushaala

bane pujaari premi saaqi ganga jal paawan haala
rahe ferta awirat gati se madhu ke pyaaloN kee maala
aur leeye jaa aur peeye jaa isi mantr ka jaap keeye jaa
maiN shiv ki pratima ban baiThooN mandir ho ye madhushaala

ek baras meiN ek baar hee jagti holi kee jwaala
ek baar hee lagti baaji jalti deepoN kee maala
duniya waaloN kintu kisi din aa madiraalay meiN dekho
din meiN holi raat diwaali roz manaati madhushaala

adharon par ho koee bhi ras jiwha par lagti haalaa
han jag ho koee haathon mein lagta rakkha hae pyaalaa
har surat saaqi ki surat mein parivartit ho jaati
aankhon ke aage ho kuchh bhi aankhon mein hae Madhushaalaa.

sumukhi tumhara sundar mukh hi mujh ko kanchan kaa pyaalaa
chhalak rahi hai jisme maNik roop madhur maadak haalaa
maiN hi saaqi banta maiN hi peene waala banta hoon
jahan kahin mil baithe hum tum wahiN gaee ho madhushaala

do din hee madhu muJhe pilaa kar oob uthi saaqi baalaa
bhar kar ab khiska detee hai woh mere aage pyaalaa
naaz-o-adaa andaazon se ab haaye pilaanaa door hua
ab to kar detee hai kewal farz-adaaee madhushaalaa

choTe se jeewaN meiN kitna pyaar karooN peelooN haala
aane ke hee saath jagat meiN kehlaaya jaane-waala
swaagat ke hee saath wida ki hothi dekhi tayyaari
band lagi hone khulte hee meri jeewan madhushaala

saant saki ho ab taq saaqi peekar kis uRR kee jwaala
aur aur ki raTan lagaata jaata har peene-waala
kitni iKsha ek har jaaNe-waala yahaN choD jaata
kitne aRmaanoN kee bankar qaBr khaDi hai madhushaala

yam aayega saaqi bankar saath liye kaali haala
pee na hosh meiN phir aayega sura wisudh yeh matwaala
yeh antim behoshi antim saaqi antim pyaala hai
pathiK pyaar se peena isko fir na milegee madhushaala

girti jaati hai din-pratidin pRanayani pRaanoN kee haala
maGn hua jaata din-pratidin deen subhge mera tan pyaala
rooth raha hai muJhse roop si din-din yauwan ka saaqi
sookh rahi hai din-din sundari meri jeewan madhushaala

Dhalak rahee ho tan ke ghaT se sangini jab jeewanhaala
paaTr garal ka le ab antiM saaqi ho aanewaala
haath paras bhoole pyaale ka swaad sura jiWha bhoole
kaanoN meiN tum kehti rehna madhuKaNN pyaala madhushaala

mere aDharoN par ho na antiM wastu na tulsi-jal pyaala
mere JiWha par ho antiM wastu na ganga-jal haala
mere shaV ke peeche chalne-waaloN yaad ise rakhna
ram-naam hai satya na kehna kehna sachchi madhushaala

mere shaV par wah roYe ho jiske aaNsoo meiN haala
aaH bhare wah jo ho surbhit madeera peekar matwaala
de muJhko wo kaandha jinke pad-mad dag-mag hoNte ho
aur jalooN uss Thaur jahaN par kabhi rahee ho madhushaala

aur chitha par jaaye unDela paatR na ghRith ka par pyaala
GhanT bandhe angoor latha meiN madhya na jal ho par haala
praan-priye yadi SHraadH karO tum mera to aise karna
peene-waaloN ko bulwa kar khulwa dena madhushaala

naam agar pooche koi to kehna bas peene-waala
kaam garal na aur dhaalna sab ke madiroN ka pyaala
jaati priYe pooche yadi koi keh dena deewanoN kee
dharM batana pyaaloN ki le maala japna madhushaala

pitR paKsh meiN putR uThana araGYan na kar meiN par pyaala
baiTh kahiN par jaana ganga sagar meiN bharkar haala
kisi jagaH kee miTTi bheege tRipti muJhe mil jaaYegee
darpan arpan karna muJhko paDh paDh karke "madhushaala"

Lyrics : Hariwansh Rai Bachhan
Music : Jaidev
Voices : Hariwansh Rai Bachhan, Manna Dey

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

One Sided Love

I was feeling like writing about One Sided Love for many time now. Found some nice sentimental blogs on the same topic in the net. Really a lot many of us suffer from this. Writing some anecdotes about it...

One Sided Love is like reaching for a star, you know you'll never reach it but you still keep trying.

Many people have different views about it ...

...we have all probably been on both sides of the fence. The guy/girl that really liked you and your friends or family knew he/she was right for you but u just never felt that spark. you hung out etc etc. Its life, it happens. Its human nature... to try to make some one like and/or love you. But hey all we can do is learn from these lessons of LIFE. These lessons are real, difficult, easy and complicated at the same time.

...Love is definitely the gift and the curse. Just like most everyone else, I've been on both sides of it. Hell, I'm on both sides of it now. You can't help who you fall for or who falls for you.

Love.. How can something so damn wonderful in essence be torture too.... !

One sided love is like two parallel lines which never intersect at any point.... but we still try try and try .... its so unfortunate to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you.... I just want to be loved by him/her once even if its for a moment ...and I will try for it till I am alive !!! I know it sounds a bit childish, gross and filmy but Its true!!

One sided love isn't a nice feeling. You feel desperate for his or her love. You begin to feel he or she takes you for granted. You get back from him or her only a miserable fraction of what you give. You're constantly worried about losing him or her.
Does that sound like love to you? It sounds kind of one-sided and like a waste of time to me...

... if both sides love equals then none of the partners will really enjoy what love means...!!!

... love is never wasted, regardless of the other's participation. There is always a lesson and a next step in your own Spiritual Unfoldment. Love and learn. Note though, the difference between love and attachment. Actual love always considers the other's point of view and acts with regard for the highest and best in the other. Attachment only looks for self-gratification.

it is like fencing a duel with an imaginary opponent... better love and be loved than not love at all... sometimes, if not love at first sight, love begins from one...and then meets response... if there is no response for a 'considerable time' (depends on your sanity), then it is no more love... it is just fascination...madness... love has to be mutual to grow....

One sided love is no love at all and it is dangerous as you can become maniac and will permanently incapacitate you to realise the values of love as attribute for healthy living.Try to be trasparent,open ,understanding ,trusting and learning to love....

one sided love is not actually love, it is an infatuation, if the one loving is not being loved in return then its a very harsh thing that happens all day, everyday all over the world and i think it really sucks and is not cool because it can make people feel like crap. it has happened to me and took me way longer than it should have to break free from it and i feel for the ones currently in that situation, because it hurts and u must be strong... i mean i still love the girl, but I am just not letting him know and trying my hardest to move on...

ONE SIDED LOVE. Plz don't think me a cynic. One sided lovers r generally sick. They r timid, shy or irritating. Their love is always illusionary they live in dreams wasting their energy, time, contacts n most importantly LIFE. If one cannot turn his one sided love into two sided then better he stop, if not he will end up losing his self respect, concentration, friends finally himself.

Don't go by the filmy style of love, its confined to films only not to life. Ur life and people around you (family, friends) are more important than this bug. love is true but its perfect if and only it unites two.

Make it two way or break it mid way.

well, most of us have experienced this atleast once in their life time. One Sided Love is seriously very painful. So, its always better to cut it midway. But, I feel love just happens; nobody start loving someone by starting with #include love.h . You never know how it started... !!! So, One Sided Love can only be regarded as an unfortunate chapter in one's life and more sooner its closed, the better is for the person.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

one year... countless thoughts

time and tide seriously don't wait for anyone... with the 2nd week of the 10th month of the year now going, I really find it difficult to figure out how the year 2007 passed off. However 2007 seems to be one of the most different year of my life. As I can rightly christen it as a year full of credits, losses, countless emotions, numerous sentiments and the list goes on. Sometime ago, I felt that I should not write my own stuffs in my blog, because blog is a place which is always exposed to the world. But the next moment I felt that the people around me are too busy to peep into my life through my blog. My blog has been a great friend of mine throughout this year, whom I approached when I was down or in the days of celebration. My blog is a good listener to me and so I love it the most. Year 2007 was the year when I spent the maximum amount of time in a solitary and lonesome mode. Never in my life, I could give so much of time just to myself. This year was professionally too good for me. I worked very hard in some months of the year and I got credited for that to my satisfaction. I also spent some of the nicest time with my friends. Two memorable events was the Goa trip in March and Alibaugh outing in September. But year 2007 was not always kind to me. I had to encounter some very depressing moments in this year. There were times when a sense of despair ruled my heart and soul in this year. Some posts in my blog rightly reflects those. Although those moments were extremely difficult to face on my part, but somehow everything was managed. I won't go into any more details about those worst mo of 2007. Everytime, I thought the Sun would shine tomorrow, but it rained. Nevertheless, I learnt a lot of things from those sucking times which may be helpful in living life in a better way in the future. Now as just only 2 months to go for another new year, I hope its fruitful to wait and watch the future. As someone rightly said, it can't rain all the time. The year 2007 was a year of countless thoughts for me. I saw and came across some real pictures of life... and also to some extent I tried discovering myself all through this year. Closing this post with the optimistic notion that not all who wander are lost...

Monday, September 24, 2007

weekend in Alibaugh

a cool weekend after many weeks. I along with my colleagues went to Alibaugh for a office sponsored trip. we started at around 9AM on Saturday morning. The journey was good, with lot of masti and fun in the bus. Reached there at around 1PM, checked into a resort already booked for us. After lunch, we went to Kihim Beach. I had some fun in the water but more fun with some beach dogs. Came back to our rooms by 8PM, and there was a DJ night arranged for us in the resort. Danced a lot to the tune of music. All my wild dances (I hardly know how to dance). Did a lot of prank in the dinner time and finally dozed off by midnight. Sunday morning, after breakfast we went to a nearby lake. I did a lot of peddle boating. It was real fun. The lake was deep and the water was awesome. One of my colleague, dived into the water and swimed. It must have been so fun for him ... I wish I could swim. The boating experience was ultimate. After lunch, we checked out from the resort and went to Kashid Beach. This is where I had my fun loaded time. One of my colleague took his car and we drove in the beach. The shore was wide with hard sand, so driving was not at all difficult. We could drive without the fear of the car getting stuck. I managed to drive at 100KM/Hr. It was only the sea-breeze which was a limiting factor. This was the 1st time ever, I drove in a sea-beach; a place where you can drive without getting annoyed by the traffic or pot-holes in the road. The return journey was also good, but I was sleeping in the bus all the time. All in all the trip was a fun filled one and I had a lot of good times. Looking forward to more such outings.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

all these days...

Logged into blogger after so many days. After a lapse of around 2 months, I am again engaged into a priority 1 - severity 1 work, so back to the old days of hard work. Staying late in office, working in weekends. History repeats itself. I feel nice to work hard and stress myself. Only problem is that sometimes my minds get shut, I loose my commonsense when I feel that I am under tremendous work pressure. It was just yesterday, I was about to adopt a silly way to solve a problem. Had my friend did not come and rescue me at the right moment, I would have been toiling all night at office. I hope the work at hand will get over by end of this month. Otherwise life is going okay. Vitiligo sometimes bother me, but probably I have almost accepted it. Its my friend now, who will go along with me wherever I go. All in all life is going fine at its own pace.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Red Red Wine...

"Wine" a term usually related to celebration, good moments. How far can one travel to get wine? 1km... 10km... 100km... or 500km ??? Yes, me and my friend traveled 500km(to-fro) from Pune. It all started with a random plan that we decided to go to Sangli (a place 250kms away from Pune, known for its wine vineyard) to see the vineyards there and the processing plants. We started from Pune at around 2pm. The journey was through Mumbai-Bangalore Highway (NH4). It was raining moderately and hence it was real fun to drive. I myself don't drink wine, but it was all for the driving pleasure and to see the vineyard that I agreed upon the plan. I don't say myself to be a very good driver, but I find driving very much relaxing and soothing. We reached our destination at around 7pm. The place is known as Krishna Wine Park, and it comes under Maharashtra Industrial Development Corporation. The person there showed us the processing plant, the big chambers where the wines are stored and told us in brief about the varieties of grapes. It was really great to see and know those stuffs. We reached back home by around 12midnite. The drive, the vineyard ... proved a real cool combination and a memorable experience for both me and my friend.

Friday, August 10, 2007

The Road Not Taken : An Analysis

Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” has been one of the most analyzed, quoted, anthologized poems in American poetry. About the poem, Frost asserted, "You have to be careful of that one; it's a tricky poem - very tricky." And he is, of course, correct. The poem has been and continues to be used as an inspirational poem, one that to the undiscerning eye seems to be encouraging self-reliance, not following where others have led. But a close reading of the poem proves otherwise. It does not moralize about choice, it simply says that choice is inevitable but you never know what your choice will mean until you have lived it.

I feel, from the poem we can't make out any positive or negative conclusion. For example, as in the line And that has made all the difference, the poet has never mentioned anything in the poem which can conclude whether the difference is a positive or a negative one. Also as in I shall be telling this with a sigh, the sigh can mean a nostalgic relief or a regret.

So Frost was absolutely correct; his poem is tricky—very tricky. But only if we are not careful readers. If we read into poems claims that are not there. And in this poem, it is important to be careful with the time frame. As we read in the line Somewhere ages and ages hence, poet's evaluation of the difference of his choice made are still in the future. He will be reporting sometime in the future how his road choice turned out, we have to realize that we cannot assign meaning to “sigh” and “difference,” because the speaker himself cannot know how his choice will affect his future, until after he has lived it.

The poem justifies my funda of life, "Past is gone, future is yet to come, so live the present; its a gift and don't worry about the choices you are making. You never know whether you have to regret or feel glad about the choices you are making today or whether the difference will be a positive or a negative". Just Live and Let Live !!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

All About Acceptance...

when I was a child, I grew up with a notion in myself that I will never ever submit myself to average habits. So, whatever I aspired to do, I gave all of myself and succeeded in most of my endeavors. That made me one of the well known kids in town (I am from a small town, so that was fairly easy on my part). But the child is grown now and the dream is gone. I have learnt to submit myself to acceptance. When I look into my life in current days, I feel its only acceptance that has reigned the supreme. Everywhere, I just accept stuffs. Over the years, I have accepted that getting a girl for myself, who will love me, care for me and just take me for granted is far beyond possibility. The development of vitiligo in me has worsen my notion and I have been compelled to put a full stop in it. Rest, I am not sure about my future, my career ahead. So, I have just accepted in myself to do good whatever I am doing now. But, it gives me a big question mark when I see people around me living life the kings size; they live life they feel like, they have females with them or have the capability to lure them. I know all that glitters are not gold. All smiling faces are not happy in their lives. But, I feel atleast they are more normal than me. I am not comparing myself with people around me, but its true that I get the feeling of a pin prick in my ass when I find that life is not very kind with me. So, for me its all about acceptance now. Learning to accept limitations in my effort to be happy in life. If I don't accept limitations then it make me more depressed, although depression is a way of life now.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

how does it feel ?

How does it feel when you discover that when you were celebrating your achievement, you actually got ruined somewhere?
How does it feel when you find that inspite of being so generous, kind and good to people around you, bad things keep happening with you?

Although I have so many thoughts in my mind... I don't wanna dirty my blog with shits. I am just asking myself only one question, "If there is a God, they why has He let me die?" Ofcourse this question is totally irrelevant for me.

Toota Toota Ek Parinda Aise Toota
Ke Phir Jud Naa Paaya
Loota Loota Kisne Usko Aise Loota
Ke Phir Ud Naa Paaya
Girta Hua Woh Asma Se
Aakar Gira Zameen Par

Is this a life I was supposed to lead ??? I don't know... nobody knows...

Monday, July 30, 2007

a great feeling...

Today, I got an A++ award (quarterly award given to employees for their contribution to the company) for my work on a customer escalation. It was a moment of immense joy and pleasure when I received the email from my manager. A snippet of the same is shown below:

Saurav has received A++ award for his dedicated efforts over 4-5 weeks to address performance concerns of one of our esteemed customer for our volume replicator product stack...... contribution of Saurav's customer driven efforts to try out multiple scenarios over a short timespan, which in fact made our customer realize the commitment from Symantec side....

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my colleagues cum friends @ office who gave me all types of support both morally as well as technically during those days. There were times when I were frustrated or very tired and my friends used to console me by cracking jokes, PJs and sometimes even would get me a cup of tea in my cube. I remember an occasion, when they arranged for a eat-out in one of the happening pub of the town... to get me out of my frustration and fatigue. I really feel privileged to get colleagues and friends like them.

Hats Off To All You Guys... !!!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Quarter Life Crisis

QLC was a term known to me as QLogic Fibre Channel HBA driver, till I knew about the other QLC... :-D

The Quarter Life Crisis (QLC) is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from ages 21 - 29. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis. It is now recognized by many therapists and professionals in the mental health field.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

And I know, I along with supposedly many of my friends are going through this crisis presently. Some of us might want to solve this problem by simply getting married or so, but I don't want to submit myself to this crisis. Many might think this as an excuse on my failure to get the right girl for me, but NO. Lemme see what are the other solutions to this crisis or its just to wait and watch till I cross this age. I simply don't know.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

a reason to smile

Last two days were quite special for me. Firstly, I got recognized for my hard work by people very high in the hierarchy in my company. It really feels great, when the effort and work done gets paid by a token of acknowledgment. Its what is called "Professional Satisfaction". Some of the effects of a past post of mine "Hard work Kills"... got relived to some extent. Secondly, one of my best friend (that too a female) wrote a testimonial for me in Orkut. I was so happy to read it. I feel at the seventh heaven when people says good things about me. Thanks dost, u gave me a reason to smile.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Weekend in Mumbai ...

I went to Mumbai this Friday, to meet two of my old friends; friends of my sweet old engineering days. It was just a sudden plan that I made to go there. I left for Mumbai at around 6pm on Friday evening, to spend 2 days of the weekend there. I reached one of my friends' house at around 11pm... thanks to the traffic jams. He had already cooked dinner for me, so after dinner, we sat and started talking about all our best days in college and life after that. I went to meet him after around one year. He is staying with some of his colleagues, and the disordered state of his apartment made me recollect about my hostel life , and I was left with nostalgia. Next morning, the other friend who is perusing his higher studies in IIT Bombay, joined us. We roamed around in the streets of South Mumbai, went to Gateway of India, relaxed in the Marine Drive, in between watched a movie, had delicious lunch and dinner in 2 of the nicest resturents in Church Gate. Saturday night we went to IIT Hostel, and spent our night there. Sunday morning as usual, woke up late, then had breakfast in the hostel. Every bit of these made me recollect the student life. If given a chance, I want to go back to those days. Then, we went to a shopping malls, spent some time there, did some shopping and I finally left for Pune on Sunday Evening. It was a refreshing weekend after a long time. As I was coming back, I was thinking that friends we make in our hostel lives are somewhat different. They accept you the way you are. We don't have to do carry any makeup smile with them when we are sad or unhappy. Just be the way we are. Probably, during those 4 yrs, we were each others' parents, relatives, siblings, and we end up developing these traits. Although, time fades away everything, but some moments are to be cherished forever. Work and some baseless deeds cum thinking had taken away lot of my vital energy during the past few months. But, I feel relaxed now.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

All these Three Years ... ( Part - IV )

My friends helped me to the extreme limit, so that I can take off with my new life in a smoother way. Take it in the case of my initial days of learning to drive the car or just to overcome the silence at home when I come back from office. I started developing some new affection, experienced a different way in which my heart beat. In between, we went to Goa, which seems to be memorable trip in my life. The most important development after December 2006, will be that I left chatting completely and instead developed a new habit of writing blogs. I started looking at myself in a more deeper way, started talking to myself. I never found anything good in myself. My blogs during this time explains everything. I learnt that I dont know how to handle things in life, take everything from heart, and injure myself. All my bad traits like working in impulse, getting irritated frequently and most importantly thinking too much in matters which need no thinking became so apparent that even my friends started observing these. My longing and thriving for someone to love me increased. I am always blessed with parental love and sibling love, but the type of love which I am craving for, I also can't explain. And thats how I am living now. Living everyday as a new day, as though tomorrow never comes. I am learning to live. Probably, in this new experiment I will never succeed, but I am finding bliss in it. Lemme see what happens.

We're all mere pawns
In the hands of fate
And when things go wrong
They will, at any rate
All we can do is, just wait
For Mr. Fate to become our mate.

All these Three Years ... ( Part - III )

I became a voracious chatter in yahoo towards January 2006, and looking at my state, my brother took broadband connection at home. So, I don't have to come to office in weekends. My friendships with four office friends increased and we started having frequent eat outs. My brother also had a car by this time, we shifted to a row house near NH-4. So, two of us used to go for long rides and all. But Filipino girls reigned supreme in my lives those days. It was so extreme in some cases that I used to leave early from office, come home and chat. Also durng this time, my professional friends became my personal friends. This life continued and continued till December 2006. In between these days, in October 2006 we moved to the new flat bought by my brother and in November 2006, he got married. Later in December 2006 , bro and sis-in-law moved to US of A and I left alone in Pune. Living together for 2 long years, and suddenly I was alone. Initially, it was not very easy to start off with a solitary life, but I managed. That was Episode Three.

All these Three Years ... ( Part - II )

In January 2005, two of my college friends joined jobs in Pune. So, the vacancy of having friends who knows me better than I do is filled up. And we started with our college days' life, this time ofcourse not in a college campus but among ourselves. My weekends' were mostly spent in my friends' flat and with all chaotic deeds. Waking up at 7AM on a Sunday morning, go to eSquare for the morning show (as it was as cheap as 40 bucks), have lunch somewhere, come back to room, sleep till evening, then go to FC Road or JM Road, do bird watching, sit in some "tapri" with chai and sutta (I dont smoke), have dinner in mostly road side Chinese resturent and finally come home. Next morning is a Monday morning and I had to catch the office bus as early as 8AM. This continued till September 2005. In between these period, I switch my job from TCS to Veritas on 9th May, 2005. I didn't have much time for my brother, but my brother was not lonely as well, he had his love who also used to work in Pune itself. Sometime in September, 2005 my friends left Pune for greener pastures. So, there was no more chaotic weekends after that. I used to be at home watching TV, sleeping. I also didn't go out with my brother frequently. We didn't have broadband those days, so I started coming to office on weekends, just to serf the net and chat. I developed friendships with some girls of Philippines and my weekends started passing off with just yahoo messenger. Towards December, 2005 my acquaintances with my colleagues in Veritas increased and 5 of us became more than just colleagues. That was Episode Two.

All these Three Years ... ( Part - I )

I started my career on 1st July, 2004 by joining TATA Consultancy Services (TCS). Initial 50 days of training was done in TCS, Trivandrum and then I joined TATA Research Development and Design Center in Pune. I landed up in this city on 20th August, 2004. I rented a 1BHK flat just near to my office. I had nothing with me except for my clothes, one mattress, one pillow, 3 books, one table (given by the landlord), one bucket, one mug, and one big bucket again given by the landlord to store water, as the water used to come on fixed timing that too just twice in 24 hrs. I had just one companion in my flat and that was my Nokia 2300, I bought with my 1st salary. Radio Mirchi was my only source of entertainment when I was in my flat. So, there was no personal life as such. I arranged my dinner with one aunty in just 15 bucks per meal. I used to walk to my office, stay till 9-10 PM at night although I didn't have any work at office and used to go to office 7 days a week. Some times in the weekend, I along with one of my colleague used to go to MG Road, pass some time, have dinner there and come back. This life continued till mid-October 2004. My brother returned from France and joined Veritas Software in Pune. We changed our flat to a posh area, I started a new life in the cradle of my brother. Now we have furnitures in our house, we have a TV with cable connection, we cook our own dinner. So, life became more organized and structured. I got my college days' PC from home and so there was no dearth of relaxation any more. I continued working in TCS, but I never go to office on weekends. This was Episode One.

All these Three Years ...

On 1st July, 2007 I completed 3 long years of my professional career. Now, sitting alone in my cozy bedroom, I am just recollecting my life in all these three years. One thing is common to all these years, and that's Pune. Variety is the spice of life, but probably I didn't bother to add spices to my life by making too much changes to my life. Take it as my apathy or my utter laziness. My friends, as I can see from a bird's eye view, added a lot of spices to their lives by going abroad, changing many jobs, increasing the figures in their payslips, experimenting newer things in life, relationships etc etc ... and the list goes on. But, me ??? I am there where I was 3 years ago. No wonder, my friends and my juniors tell me ... "Haloi, you haven't changed yaar, Neither your look nor your behaviors, infact nothing. You are the same old Haloi, we had for 4 long years in campus". And I say, "Yes, you guys are right".
I still carry the same traits with me, being too much emotional, too much sentimental, a bit psycho, too much frustrated and desperate about girls, short tempered, negativity and pessimism in everything, very sincere to my work, faithful to people like a dog and ... yeah that's all.
Well, but I just want to recollect what I did in these three years, and don't want to pass any justification or explanation to my deeds. So, lemme start...

Thursday, July 5, 2007

one favorite classic...

kaun sunega kisko sunaaye isiliye chup rehete hai - 2
humase apane ruth na jaaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai

meri surat dekhanewalon main bhi ek aaina thaa - 2
toota jab ye shisha ye dil saawan kaa mahina thaa
tookade dil ke kisako dikhaaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai
humase apane ruth na jaaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai

aaj kushi ki isa mehfil mein apana ji bhar aaya hai - 2
gam ki koi baat nahi hai hame khushi ne rulaya hai
ankhase ansu beh na jaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai
humase apane ruth na jaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai

pyar ke phool chune the hamane khushi ke sej sajane ko - 2
patzad banakar aayi bahare ghar mein aag lagane ko
aag mein gum ki gal na jaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai
kaun sunega kisko sunaaye - 2 isiliye chup rehete hai - 3

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A song for my current life ...

I tried so hard, And got so far
But in the end, It doesn't even matter
I had to fall, To lose it all
But in the end, It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard...
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

two new feelings...

it was just the Monday night, when I along with my friend were returning home at around 12:30 midnight after watching Die Hard 4.0, and my friend's car broke down. There was a heavy downpour that night, and there were water logging in many places. In one such places we had to cross above-knee stagnant water. So water might have entered the engine or whatever, the car broke down for around 2 hrs. It was a blessing in disguise that we could manage to have a bright street lamp and there was no rain in that period. Finally, my friend managed to start the engine at around 2:30AM and we reached our destination. And, yesterday it was my turn. I had a tyre puncture when I was returning home from office. It was for the first time, a puncture happened to my car. But, I am luckier enough to be blessed with a few very good friends who will come to my help anytime and anywhere inspite of me not being good to anyone. So, I recovered the trauma. Whatever, two new experiences in two days... Nice Going Dude !!!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

A Symbol of Love or Ego ???

These days, whenever I switch on my FM tuner or check out TV channels, I see a mass propaganda to vote for TAJMAHAL to make it into the list of 7 wonders of the world. I keep getting forwarded mails from my peers about the same thing. I see celebrity figures telling that if 1+ billion Indians can't make Tajmahal into the 7 wonders of the world by voting for it, it will be a disgrace for all of us. All these hue and cry make me question What The F**K ??? If its a matter of just voting and making it into the 7 wonders, then Tajmahal will be in the 2nd slot, next to The Great Wall of China, as India has the 2nd highest populations in the world. When it comes to my view point, Tajmahal should be into the 7 wonders list w.r.t the architectural design, its flawless beauty needs no second thought. But, If I have to vote for it as a symbol of love, my answer will be BIG NO. Let me ask a frank question to everyone who calls it a symbol of love. When the hands of the workers who worked so hard to built Tajmahal is chopped off, where the hell people find love in it ? Its just the memorial for a departed soul. No love involved. Just a show off for Ego, Money & Power.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

a cool feeling ...

Today, I along with my friend went for test drive of new Optra Magnum. Although, we could not get a test drive as it was raining very heavily but it was a nice feeling to enquire about the specification of a car which I don't know if I will ever be able to buy in my life time. I really liked the car; it was a powerful sedan with 2.0 litre engine, exotic interior and what not !!! The car which we saw in the showroom was a cool metallic black one ... I really liked it. The ex-showroom cost was 11.2 lacs. Really I wanna drive such a luxurious sedan !!! Lemme see when can I make it ...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

the light of life ....

I read a poem in my Assamese Literature course in my 10th std. The poem was called "Jivan Jeuti" which translates in English as "The Light of Life". I don't remember the full poem, but one paragraph, still shines in my mind. It says...

Gotowa golap koli
Samay thakote sakhi,
Jivanar sot bali jai,
Jiti phule hahi aaji
Phooloni phulai tole,
Kai loi pahi meli, nehahe dunai
Jivanar sot boli jai.

It translates in English as ...

Collect the petals of Rose.
When you have time, my friend
The flower which blooms today
And make the garden smile
May cease to exist tomorrow
The wave of life fades away...

Now I realise, how true and correct, the wordings of the poem is. We often get busy with our schedules and routines to such an extent that we forget exact timings of the right work in our life. And, when the time flies away, we repent for not doing the right work at the right time. I feel, if these things were taught while we were in our mother's womb, we would have live our life in a better way than we usually lead. Well, just loud thinking, no offence please.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

My Friend and the Fish...

It so happened that last Sunday, my friend went to buy fishes. He ended up buying some sea fishes and a cat fish (in live state). He brought it home and instead of eating it, put it in his aquarium. Next day in office, he showed me the videos of the fish, playing in the aquarium. The fish was awesome. He thought, he will eat it after 1 or 2 days. But as days passed by, he developed some sort of affection and fondness for the fish. He bought fish food from the pet's store, and when the fish was not liking those food, he even started giving him insects, earth worms. Can somebody imagine a guy catching cockroaches in his house, asking his friends for cockroaches to feed his dear cat fish? Although I laughed at his deeds, but a person's affection has no bound. If somebody develops affection or fondness for something/someone, he/she can do anything for it. In many cases, the same has proved to be true with me. My friend will put his hand in his aquarium, the fish comes to his hand act as though its trying to sleep there, and the crazy friend of mine will caress the fish's head. I was simply left spellbound when he was telling me all these. But as days were passing, it was a matter of worry for the health of the fish, to put it in a aquarium. So, my friend finally decided to put it in the fish dale near his house, just for the sake of freedom and well-being of his dearest buddy. When he was going to free the fish, he called me up and I could not help but put the events in my blog. A real life example of how small things can give u so much pleasure and happiness.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Hard Work Kills !!!

Yesterday, I complete one month working for a customer escalation for one of the product of my company. When, I look back throughout those 30 days, it looks like a thousand years. Working till 12 midnite almost everyday, making Pizza Hut richer almost each day for my dinner. Although the work has not finished, but for all the work I did, I got killed by atleast 1%, if not more. I was on the impresion that the work will get over by yesterday, but it was a bolt from the blue, when the commitment to the work got extended by an indefinite period. But amidst of all these corporate blues, where do I stand ? May be I can take 2-3 days break and start afresh. I get paid for it, so I have to do it. Thats what professional ethics is. For the 1st time in my 3 yrs. of professional life, I can feel what is stress actually. How fatigue can make your brain totally numb. I feel a pain in my shoulders, as though the weight of the world is on my arms. At this time, I need a cradle, where I can rest my heart and mind. Can Somebody Hear Me?... I Am Screaming From So Far Away .... !!!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Good to See & say WOW !!!

I was at my friend's place this Saturday, who stays in Magarpatta Cyber City in Pune. I was really amazed to see the developments inside the campus. I have been a frequent visitor to his house during our house-pooling days, but I didn't have the opportunity to see the new Jogger's Park being built. When I saw it yesterday, I had just only one word in my mouth ... "WOW". The guys behind the whole plan must have a good futuristic vision, to plan such a park. We were analyzing the techniques implemented to develop the various structures articulating nature to the best possible extent. It was simply great. Even birds were confused if the fish dale made was a real or an artificial one [:-)]. The park is still in the development phase, and 2 yrs. down the line it will be so good to see it, as I have seen it while it was being developed.

Friday, June 8, 2007

The Wet Blanket

I am thankful to people, who always sees the dark side of mine. Coz, it helps me stop for a while, question myself, and ultimately feel sorry (although I never correct myself) for my misdeeds. People says, we learn from our mistakes, but the burden of mistakes becomes so heavy at some point of time that one can't carry it. Many time it happens that well wishers around me organise outings, parties or just eat out events for me, and towards the end of it, I turn out to be the spoilsports. Sometimes, I feel that people likes me very much, but is it true ??? I am still searching for an answer. Probably, I can be a good son, a good brother, but I can never be a good friend for anyone. Because I lack the etiquettes of being good to someone. I am now feeling sick of being a wet-blanket for people around me. What do I do ??? Try finding bliss in loneliness ??? If I cant be good to others, I have no right to be sociable.
But, I am sure that there is a "Good Me" inside me, and if ever someone tried to peek through my soul, they will know it ... But who cares to do that ???

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Love & Suffering ...

I love Paulo Coelho's writings, coz he sounds so very realistic to life. I have just started reading his book By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept, and just in the forward of the book, I got a stanza which I liked very much and I wanna put it down in my blog....

... And with love there are no rules. Some may try to control their emotions and develop strategies for their behavior; others may turn to reading books of advice - from experts of relationships - but this is all folly. The heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters.
At some point of time, we have each said through tears, "I am suffering for a love that's not worth it". We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules. But ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth.
True love is an act of total surrender.

Well, what have been written sounds so good and spiritual. But, very few of us have that courage and strength to overcome the pain and suffering bestowed upon us by love. Life would have been so good to live, if one gets back the love one gives someone.

Monday, May 28, 2007

a sense of despair...

A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity, also known as depression. Depression can me a mood disorder, which is usually a state of unhappiness or sadness, or to a relatively minor downturn in mood that may last only a few hours or days. In severe cases, depression is also known as clinical depression in which a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living.

...well, whatever I have mentioned above is just for informative purpose and has nothing to do with my life. Its true that I sometimes suffer from depression but its very low in intensity. I usually feel it when I get the sense that something is not going good with me. It may vary from the fear of the change in my terrestrial appearance, or not able to get something/someone I thrive for or just the feeling that I am inadequate and that's why I am a loser. Probably, my depression range from some personal problems to something which happen to me because of my own shitty deeds. I do shitty stuffs when I allow my emotions, feelings to overcome my thinkings. Hence I end up f**king my own ass. When I see stuffs with my own eyes that something bad is happening to me because of my own deeds, I feel total lost. And I end up listening to REM - Everybody Hurts in a loop. Some personal problems can never be avoided, but depression arising out of relationships or friendships can always be avoided. I think I should listen to my first instinct. People tells me real love never exists, its just the physical needs of two person. Well, might be true... whatever, in future I will try hard so that I don't make myself "chutiya" by my own deeds.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

oh... finally

I was not able to speak to myself for the past one week. And the reason was ... my internet connection was down. For the 1st time ever, I have received such a prompt response from VSNL guys, that in one week time the link is restored. So, back to the world of blogging !!!

Monday, May 21, 2007

...Sick & Tired

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm also one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

[modified to suit my needs]

...well, I am not suffering from Schizophrenia or anything like that, but probably some imaginary or hypothetical characters do exist in my heart & mind. At this age of mine its totally baseless to talk about loneliness or depression and frankly, I am devoid of both. But there are times when these hypothetical characters come out from my inside and befriends me. I try to see them in the eyes of real characters that surrounds me. And, here I go wrong. The imaginary characters, are something out of this world, they are just concrete examples of a paragon. Probably, reality can never be so good and serene as my hypothetical world. When I am under the influence of these non-existent entities, I try to acquire affection, love, or rather beg some peace from the reality, and I am left behind as a vagabond. Coz, Reality dont care.

[This post is written in a complete tired, exhausted and raped state. Continually working for nearly 30 hours, I reached a state of mind where I could demarcate between reality and imagination and I curse myself for commingling these two sides of a coin.]

Saturday, May 19, 2007

My Friend of Misery...

You insist that the weight of the world
Should be on your shoulders
Theres much more to life than what you see
My friend of misery...

The saying "A friend in need is a friend indeed !!!" has come to be true in many cases in my life. And I feel, I am so lucky to have such friends. Let me quote an incident which happened just last night (18th May, 2007 - 10PM). I was very busy all day in office, so came home late , was very tired tooo. I packed my dinner from a resturent. When I was just in the entrance of my apartment, I remembered that I need to buy milk and bread, so I parked my car there, with hazards & the parking lights on. I had stopped the engine and head lights, locked all the windows, doors and came out of the car, just to find that I had left the car key inside. My cellphone, the house key was inside and even the FM was going on. It was like a bolt from the blue, only my wallet was with me. Thanx God that I had kept the spare key of the car and the flat in office. My mind had already gone blank and at that point of time I just remembered the mobile number of Anish; I called Anish from the PCO and told him everything. I was literally in a state of shock. Anish had already reached home by then. He assured me that he will go to office and get the key for me. I then went to Alok's house, who stays around 1km from my apartment and fled to office in his car. We stay around 14km apart from our office and the roads were full of friday night traffic. For the first time in my life, I was cursing "Thanks God, Its Friday". We reached office by around 10:40, Anish had already reached by then, must have drove at 100-120 kmph to reach office so early. We had to find the security guy who posses all the duplicate key of the office cupboards, as even my office keys were inside my car. Finally got the keys by around 11pm and reached home by 11:20. I was a bit scared with Alok's very fast driving, but I knew that he is efficient and skilled. I was worried that if the car battery gets discharged, then it will be a great pain in my ass. But nothing of that sort happened, the car was still there, standing with all lights and hazards on. It was a total stressful incident. I took so much tension on the whole matter that at some point of time I was feeling dizzy.
God, Thank You So Much for giving me such friends, whom I can approach anytime.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Veronika Decides to Die...

just finished reading Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho. Nice Book. Its the story about a young girl, Veronika, who seems to have everything in life... she is pretty, has a lot of handsome and nice boyfriends, a cool job and loving parents. Yet she was not happy and the thought of something lacking in her life led her to take the decision to die. She does a suicide attempt but woke up in a local hospital. A failed suicide attempt. But she was told in the hospital that although it was a narrow escape from the jaws of death, but her heart was damaged already and she has only a few days to live... The story is all about her experiences through these vivid days in the hospital, a journey between living and dying. A tale of her friendship with three other persons in the hospital: a patient of severe depression, a patient of Panic-Attack and another one suffering from Schizophrenia. The books also throws light to lot of medical facts w.r.t psychiatry, mental problems, chemicals in the brain ["chemical locha as termed by Munnabhai"] etc etc. As one of my friend quoted to me, one needs a special mood to read the book. The story has an ultimate climax. A climax which was expressed in just 3-4 sentences in a book of about 200 pages, and it changes the whole depressive feeling about the book and its title.
The most important lesson to be learnt from the book is that every moment in our lives is special and precious and hence we should sing the song of life with full zeal and ebullience.
Starting with "The Fifth Mountain" again my Paulo Coelho. Lemme see what this book has to tell. :-)

Monday, May 14, 2007

A Dual Feeling...

I didn't like people so much in my past.
I loved computers instead.
At least computers were honest, readily available
And never intentionally or un
intentionally sought to hurt me.
It took me years to realize that I used computers as a
replacement for the people I wanted to avoid.
Overall, I was scared of being hurt, afraid of rejection
and of not being loved in return.

That was a long time ago.
These days, I love people.
I learned to love through friendship.

I would like to take a moment of your time and share
something of what I learned.

My friend, has just read my blog.
She found it somewhat dogmatic and ironic
As a result, she missed my heart amongst the words.

So, I wanted to rewrite it but I didn't,
And if you still find it a bit dogmatic or sarcastic,
I can only blame my enthusiasm and a lack of space to fully elaborate...

OK, enough with excuses, will you be my friend?

Yep? Great! So we are friends.
At times, we both realize that it is not easy for either of
us to give and receive love.
The more I try to hate you, the more I love you ...
The more I try to love you, the more I hate you ...
That's the Thin Line Between Love and Hate ....
What to do... that's life!
Let's both Live it ...
And make life beautiful like never before !!!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Everybody Hurts ... sometimes

A few days ago, as I was hitch hiking through the web I came across some inspirational sites where I read a touching story. The story is about a boy and a girl who used to study in the same university and were friends. There was no romantic involvement among them but the boy had a great affection and fondness for the girl. The girl, as many other girls, had a great feminine attitude . Considered herself to be strong enough to handle any situations and in no need of the boy in her ups and downs. But as it was a boy's heart, he tried to find happiness in the girl's presence and himself always longed to give as much as happiness as he can, to the girl. Whenever he got bogged down by life's cruel ways or may be just to kill loneliness he seek the girl's company. Sometimes he found her, sometimes he had to try hard to see her around him and sometimes the girl used to turn him down. Time flew through the window as the pendulam swinged and they got more close (don't take in the usual sense of getting close between a boy & girl) to each other, they came to know more about themselves. The girl although looked happy & fun loving in her looks, suffered from some severe throes. As it happens in the west, family issues and all.... However the boy accepted the girl in the way she was. Days came and days went, and the boy gradually noticed the indifference of the girl towards him. Initially he thought it was just him who was looked on in that way, but when he gave a broader look to the matter, he found that it was not just him but towards everyone she had such an attitude. He always tried to help her, but some people are just hard nut to crack. She was carrying a dead soul. When I was reading the story, I remembered the song "With or Without You" by U2:

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you...

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give
And you give yourself away

I can't live
With or without you

Such was the state of the boy. I have written just a gist of the story and I might have done injustice to the story by not writing everything. The story don't justify the boy or the girl, but just throws light to "The Thin Line between Love and Hate" which exists among all of us.

I was very much moved by the story cause it sounded very realistic, but I was glad that it was just a story and bear no similitude to me. May Almighty help me so that never in my life I fall in such situation. I am not strong enough to face such things. As I am writing this post, I have something in my mind which tells me that in today's complex lifestyle we should not try to find happiness through someone else. If we do so, and later we are hurt, we are nowhere. Its the inner us who should be befriended. Aaaah.. my heart is feeling very heavy now and I should close this post.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Funeral of the heart...

well, for some days I was thinking to write about my crushes (crashes) in life. In the last 24 yrs. of my life I have total 2 such cases where my heart actually beated for the member of my opposite species and there are 3-4 cases of just crush or infatuation. I 1st felt the beauty of liking someone or longing for someone, when I was in 9th standard. Oh God, it was such a heavenly feeling... I still remember about all those day dreamings and what not. She was in my mind for 4 complete years till I left that place for persuing higher studies. But I never conveyed my feelings to her, as I had the fear of rejection and I was not strong enough to bear the throes of rejection. May be I was too young those days and also I was worried about my studies. I thought falling in love will spoil my studies. I was such a studious guy or simply a nerd. But gradually I lost the feelings for her, but my fondness for her still remains. When I was in 4th semeter of my studies, I fell for a girl who was one year younger to me academically. I feel it was the love at first sight. She was pretty, intelligent and I felt as though she was the girl I was looking for. But probably she never liked me from the beginning. I somehow started talking to her, and atleast managed to be her acquaintance if not a friend. I didnot see much attention or liking for me in her eyes, so I decided to give up even without telling her my feelings. Friends advised me not to do so, and after about 6-7 months I told her. I was ready to receive such a reply, but somehow her reply was very harsh.. "Be a friend or be Nothing"... So after that, for the last 5 years I have tried hard not to fall for anyone ... "Falling Itself is a negative emotion. Don't Fall in love; Rise in love"... but I believe rising in love is always a two sided affair. So I convinced myself that its better to be single and happy rather than bear the burnt of rejection.
But I feel, how good it would have been if there was someone who is crazy for me, who love me, who hold my hand, who caresses my head in her lap ....

What If ...

As we lead our life struggling our way through the bitter truths, I feel the most common question we ask oursalves is "What If..." Take my example, I ask myself.. What If I could lead a life like that ... What If this didnot happen to me ... What If I were ... and the list goes on. But even if our question "What If..." don't turns affirmative we still live. Life is all about learning and unlearning. We learn our way to live. After all, time heals everything. I remember a hindi song, wordings of which is something like this ...

"Teri zindagi teri hai, kisi ki amant nahin
Jab chahe tod de aese ek imart nahin..."

I am writing all these because I am doing the same thing ... "Learning to Live..."

I remember the song "Learning to Fly... (By Tom Petty)"

Well I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well the good ol' days may not return
And the rocks might melt and the sea may burn

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out, for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there

I'm learning to fly, around the clouds,
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

People who read my blog frequently may feel, how this guy can write such affirmative and optimistic things. Well, this might again be the reflection of my sine-curve like mood.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

that place ... this year !!!

I was born in Shillong in the chilly winters of Decembers... and 18 long years of upbringings there imbibed in me a special love and bond for the place. When I left that place almost 7 years ago it was just a naive place. But as they say, time heals everything, the place has changed drastically. When I was there last month for vacation with my parents, I observed these changes. The place has now have a CafeCoffeeDay, 2 pubs, lots of ATMs, the roads have gone better and etc etc. Some bad things were the traffic jams, increase in population and ofcourse the place has gone a bit warmer than it was to be those days. I have seen traffic lights coming up in the city roads. Hmmm... but now the place looks a bit alien to me. New people, new faces. However some traits will never change and thats speciallity of this place... thats Shillong.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

too good one !!!

I like almost all the songs of the upcoming Hindi movie "Life in a ... METRO" ... unconventional songs ... Of all the songs "In Dino" is my favorite ... the lyrics is too touching, its very true that we should love ourselves, before we start loving someone else ...

in dino, dil mera, mujhse hai keh raha
tu khaab saja, tu ji le jara
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat

berang si hai badi zindagi kuchh rang to bharoon
main apani tanahaayi ke waaste abbb kuchh toh karoon
jab mile thodi fursat , mujhse karle muhabbat
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat

usako chhupaakar main sabse kabhi le chaloon kahin door...
aankhon ke pyaalon kse pita rahoon usake chehre ka noor
iss jamaane se chhupakar, puri karloon main hasrat
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat
in dino, dil mera, mujhse hai keh raha
tu khaab saja, tu ji le jara
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi muhabbat

11 Minutes

I am not at all a voracious reader. But while going home this time, I happened to take Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes" with me. As I was travelling alone and that too in a train, so the book was a good company for me. I finished reading the book before reaching Calcutta, in less than 34 hrs. And now I think that this book is one of the best books I have ever read. The story revolves around a girl from a small place in Brazil, who inspite of her not-so-sophisticated life have dreams of a good life, a nice house, caring & loving husband and all those good things in life. Paulo Coelho's simple style of writing really impressed me. About the different phases of transitions in life. The girl, Maria, how did she reacted in her puberty, her 1st crush with a fellow class mate, when she lost her virginity in the back seat of a car, her 1st orgasm and all about her life as a young, pretty woman. Well I dont want to write the gist of the story in my blog, but the book is all about the spiritual nature of Sex... sacred sex, sex in the context of Love. The book was really refreshing amidst my tiresome journey. World Revolves Around Something Which Lasts for only Eleven Minutes
I am now reading Paulo Coelho's "Veronica Decides to Die"... Preview about this will soon appear in my blog. Keep Checking :-)

Monday, April 9, 2007

Mama I'm Coming Home ... !!!

Almost heaven, North East India
Blue ridge hills
Brahmaputra river
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the hills
Growin like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
North East India, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memories gathered round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
North East India, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

..... Country roads, take me home

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Mr. Myself .... answer me ... NOW !!!

...sometimes I feel blogging is meant for idle people. Take my case, I usually sit idle in my room in the weekends or weekdays after I come from work... and those idle times give birth to some stupid posts in my blog. I appear to be so philosophical, emotional, sentimental, easier to break through my blog. I talk about problems in life and what not. I am trying to discover myself. After much thinking, I gathered some anecdotial points about myself..

  • My mood always follow a sine curve. If I am at the happiest of my mood, in the next fraction of time... I might fell down. Its ofcourse not accidental. Some reasons are always there, however foolish they may be.
  • I can't bear the pain, tears of my near and dear ones. I just can't resist it.
Hold On... my mood has changed just now and it says why writing these type of philosophical shits... If you are so bored ... go and listen to some Heavy-Death metal ....

I say ... Mr. Myself ... you are spared today, but I will come again to you ... to know more about me... Closing this post now !!!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Blogging vs. Loneliness

15 years ago or around that time, my parents inspired me to write my personal diaries. According to them, the diary will help me improve my writing skills and also act as a tracking tool of the way I am spending my daily life. It will lead to better time management. Now, when I look back the days, I feel that they were right. Diaries infact help keep track of the life. But times have changed, blogs have taken place of diaries. These days, whatever time I find out of my busy professional life, I stick to blogging. I blog more often, when I feel more lonely, senti, emotional. Blogging help me spend time just with myself, speak to myself, and also to take out the disturbances from my mind.
Hats Off to That !!!

Friday, April 6, 2007

If I were a good guy !!!

many times I have found that my personal as well as professional acquaintances feels that I am not at all a good guy. I am arrogant, I get irritated easily, I don't care for his/her feelings and what not !!! But when I ask these questions to myself, I feel that they are wrong... totally wrong. I usually try my best that other people should not get hurt by my actions or deeds. But there are times when you yourself feel disturbed because things are not going in your way or some other reasons. My personal disturbances get reflected in my deeds and other people might feel bad. Does it really mean that I am bad ? NO. A big NO. After all, we should try to love ourselves before we love others. And the moments when I don't love myself, than there is no point in loving or caring for others. After all life goes on. We should first live our life for ourselves, others come second... And when these types of feeling come to my mind, I have only one answer... Who Cares ??? Relationship is the most fragile thing in the world. There are better things to do in our short lives.

... in my bed-room, by my bed-side !!!

For the past few days, the temperature of Pune has soared like anything. The mercury has touched 40 degrees and its still rising. And unfortunately, I don't have an air-conditioner in my room and sleeping in the night has become a nightmare for me. I remember, in the past I used to keep a mug of water by my bed-side and I will pour some water in my bed, so as to cool myself off. But these days I have found a better version of it. I have an old empty bottle of "colin" ... the good old glass-cleaner. I fill this up with water and this has proved to act as a panacea for me. A remedy for the heat of the night. I spray the water all over my body, towards the rotating fan (from which the water comes down to me like rain)... and the proven scientific theory "Evaporation Causes Cooling !!!" rescues me... Yahoooo.. I atleast found a solution for my sleepless nights.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Politics in the name of Morality !!!

some months ago it was AXN and now its FTV. FTV has gone off the air for telecasting some so called programmes "not suitable for Indian viewers". Some dhoti-kurta morons will decide what we should watch and what we shouldn't. And thats democracy.. 2nd largest democracy in the world !!! Looking at these I sometimes smell the rat. India going in the taliban way ... or in the misinterpreted Islamic way.. I dont know what these moral-cops think ? FTV or AXN are not XXX or porno channels. They telecast the genre of programmes they are meant for !!! Comeon, FTV can't telecast some bhajan-kirtan or some holy baba teaching yoga to people. AXN cant show the battle of Kurukshetra because its an action channel. Our fucking govenment or whatever name you give them just want to divert our mind from the real problems our country is facing today by doing these types of shitty works. And who suffers ?? People like us. I feel, Indian people are the most hypocrite people in this world.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

If ASS could speak !!!

it has happened to me very frequently that people whom u approach for some services always turns u down. Let it be the Gas Agency people, plumbers, electricians... some times even the shopkeepers .... Take for an instance, I book a LPG cylinder with the local gas agency, they will assure me that it will get delivered at my doorstep. I wait for them, and when waiting becomes a pain, I call them up, they will tell me by EOD the cylinder will be delivered. When waiting turns into frustration, I take the empty cylinder with me and go to the agency to take the refill by myself, but... but ... I get turned down with a simple answer that "they dont have stocks with them ...." this is totally ridiculous.... I end up wasting my whole day of a weekend waiting for some morons... I feel these people dont have mouth but they have TWO ASSES... one for the real shitts and other one to speak shitts ... this is just an instance ... I have encountered many other situations where I had to face these types of oral shitts ... and this has become a habit to accept shitts !!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

one month of greenery

I was a born non-vegetarian ... and indeed I am a die hard non-veggiee.. but for the wierd and f**king skin problem which I am suffering from, I was advised by some of friends to avoid non-veg food quoting some real time examples ... I thought, why not give a try. So, I kept myself abstain from eating non-veg food for more than a month. I will always remember this one month of my green life !!! never in my life I was out of fish/meat for such a long time. But it was really difficult on my part to do so. But NO, it did not last long .... 5th Feb '07 to 11th Mar '07 was enuf. I am back to my original life .... but no red-meat & egg, only Chicken... yummy .......

Friday, March 9, 2007

comfortably irritated !!!

for me irritation knows no bound. I get irritated very easily, very frequently, with or without any reason. Sometimes, I get so much irritated that I end up behaving awkardly with my friends, colleagues and even with my family mumbers. But, at the end of the day, when I ask myself why was I so much irritated... I really dont have an answer. Probably, I feel unhappy at the pace or state of my life or somethings not going in my way ..... and I get irritated, I get depressed ... I look at the mirror and I feel like shouting at myself .... am I insane ?? am I paranoid ?? I dont know. some of my good friends try helping me getting rid of my irritation, but I shout at them tooo. Later when I am out of my state, I ask for excuse .... I feel I am leading an aimless life... I come to office ... I do my work... and when I ask myself.. WHY ?? I dont have an answer !!! am I sick ??? no, I am not ... its the way I am ... and hence I love being irritated... comfortably irritated.... !!! and I end up writing this type of harebrained blog... hehehe...

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

weekend in Goa !!!

we took a cottage near the beach in Calangute. The sun was very scorching and was very very hot. So, we ended in being inside the room for most of the time. By evening we went to Anjuna, Baga... the nearby beaches of Calangute... then went for a drive in Panjim. I was spell bound to see the quality of roads. Its a pleasure of driving and I ended up speeding my vehicle at 80 inside the city. We went to a beach called Miramer in the heart of Panjim and then had a delicious dinner nearby the beach. Next morning, we started off for Old Goa. It was a great feeling to go to the churches. Towards the evening, went to Vagador beach (the beach of Dil Chahta Hain fame). That beach was just too good. We had to climb a moderately high hill to reach the fort near the beach. The beach is less crowded and my God, it was very windy. Then did some shopping in the beachside shops in Calangute and had dinner in a Tibetian resturent. Next morning, we checked out from the cottage and our plan was to spend the day with the family members of one of our friend. We attended prayers in the church, had a delicious lunch and towards evening started for Pune. The journey back home was very cool. We never had any problems in finding out the correct route and by late midnight we reached Pune. As a whole, the trip to Goa was very refreshing.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

the journey from Pune to Goa

the time was around 1:15AM... I along with my frends started off for Goa from Pune. It was my 1st long drive after I started driving, that too in the midnite. My only reason to come to Goa was the drive, pune to goa and then back home ... well the drive started off coolly. NH4 is too good... its a pleasure to drive in tar road rather than in concrete one. I maintained a constant speed of 80-100. By 4:00AM, we reached Kolhapur, from where we need to take diversion through Kolhapur town to catch NH17 for Panjim. None of us in car was sure of the route. We asked about the route whoever we met in the road. After around 30 minutes of hitch-hiking we took a route ...But... we ended up in catching the wrong route. It was tooo foggy at that time.. the visibility was almost zero... I was a bit scared as the road was very isloated with darkness prevailing all around. Never in my life, I saw such such fog, atleast when I am in a vehicle. I believe my frends were also fightened... But I congratulate myself that I did not do any mistakes as far as driving was concerned. After some distance, we saw a milestone which showed that the road will take us to Ratnagiri. So rather than enjoying in the beaches of Goa for the weekend, we would have ended in eating mangoes in Ratnagiri... So took a U, and returned to Kolhapur town.
by that time it was almost 5:00AM, and we could see people on the road. We did extensive queries, and finally we got the road which will take us to catch NH17. It was full Ghat road, but the drive was enjoyable. So finally we reached Goa by 10:30 in the morning .... This drive from Pune to Goa will always be a memorable one for me as it was my 1st drive of its kind .... I am writing this sitting in the hotel room in Goa... Lets see how the drive back home will be ...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

idea of a perfect date !!!

sometimes I wonder about going on a date !!! well... I have not been luckier enuf till now to spend a nice evening in one of the most happening place with a member of the fairer sex... but it has not prevented me in fantasizing ... I think it should be nice lounge bar with beautiful crowds and soothing music ... I am very much particular about music though... Moderate rock should be good (with the impression that my most significant others also love rock). I can't expect heavy or death metal to be liked by a female. My date should be very beautiful, and should NOT be a borning one. She should acknowledge me even if I talk about SAN,NAS, Storage Arrays,Volume Manager !!! hehehe... I am sure a female will never feel bored with me (I am not very confident though). hmmmmm ..... enuf of day dreaming !!! back to work.... :-)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

A Rocking 14th February !!!

well.. 14th February has always been a day of celebration for me... as its my brother's birthday. but I never had celebrated it as a Valentine's Day !!! it all began with a random plan and I along with my friends landed up in one of the most happening lounge in Pune. The ambience of the place was too good. The music, the crowd, the edibles.. everything were just great... I was at the height of good mood and enthu, and so enjoyed every bit of the time ... what should I say about the girls .. my God.. everyone at their best attire which made me mumble "WOW"... another cool incident was that we ended up meeting brother of James Blunt (of "You're Beautiful fame"). Its very common for me to enjoy to the wildest manner whenever I go to such places... and people passing cool comments on my wild cries and screams... and last nite it was the phirangs who were sitting by our side ... in small, we had a gala nite ... it was very much refreshing to have a bash after a lapse of much time !!!