Monday, May 28, 2007

a sense of despair...

A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity, also known as depression. Depression can me a mood disorder, which is usually a state of unhappiness or sadness, or to a relatively minor downturn in mood that may last only a few hours or days. In severe cases, depression is also known as clinical depression in which a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living.

...well, whatever I have mentioned above is just for informative purpose and has nothing to do with my life. Its true that I sometimes suffer from depression but its very low in intensity. I usually feel it when I get the sense that something is not going good with me. It may vary from the fear of the change in my terrestrial appearance, or not able to get something/someone I thrive for or just the feeling that I am inadequate and that's why I am a loser. Probably, my depression range from some personal problems to something which happen to me because of my own shitty deeds. I do shitty stuffs when I allow my emotions, feelings to overcome my thinkings. Hence I end up f**king my own ass. When I see stuffs with my own eyes that something bad is happening to me because of my own deeds, I feel total lost. And I end up listening to REM - Everybody Hurts in a loop. Some personal problems can never be avoided, but depression arising out of relationships or friendships can always be avoided. I think I should listen to my first instinct. People tells me real love never exists, its just the physical needs of two person. Well, might be true... whatever, in future I will try hard so that I don't make myself "chutiya" by my own deeds.

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