the week that was

A diary of events for my 2010 Year End Break.

18th December - 2010, Saturday

I woke up at 9:30AM today. Had bread-cheese in B'fast and finished reading almost the whole newspaper. Cooked delicious chicken curry and rice for lunch, had bath and it was almost 2:00PM, by the time I finished lunch and cleaning the utensils. Watched TV and lied down in bed for almost an hour. Checked my mails, twitter and wrote a blog post. Made a cup of tea. By 4:30PM, I went to the mall. I had to buy some clothes and other stuffs. Bought dinner from McDonalds and reached back home by around 8:30PM. Ate my dinner and started to watch a movie. The movie was too boring and finally slept at 11:00PM.

19th December - 2010, Sunday

I woke up at 8:30AM today. Had bread-jam in B'fast and read the newspaper. At around 10AM, I went to the Sunday market to buy vegetables and fish. Reached back home by around 11:30AM. Started preparing my lunch. Cooked mixed vegetables, fish fry along with rice. Had bath and it was almost 2:00PM by the time I finished my lunch and cleaned utensils. Read through the user guide of NetLogo and then tried designing the CuttingEdge poster. Prepared evening tea in between. Skipped my dinner, and watched Danny the Dog in Star Movies. Then started to watch The Langoliers, but fell asleep in midway, I guess at around 10:30PM or so.

20th December - 2010, Monday

I woke up at 8:30AM today. Had bread-butter in B'fast. I skipped reading today's newspaper. Checked my mails and did some random hitch-hiking in the web. At around 10:30AM, I started to clean my house and finished by 12:00PM. Washed clothes,had bath and heated up my lunch. I had leftover chicken curry from Saturday and heated up one frozen Paratha. By 2:00PM I finished my lunch and cleaning up the utensils. I started watching The Langoliers from the point I left last night. The movie finished at around 4:00PM. Got a cup of tea for myself. Started with the design of Cutting Edge poster and finally finished one by 8:00PM. I realized that it was not at all an eye catching one, a mediocre type. Anyways, if it gets qualified for display, I will feel that my Year End Break was a little fruitful. I Watched two movies back2back, Crank2 and The Echo and finally went to sleep at 1:30AM.

21st December - 2010, Tuesday

I woke up at 8:30AM today. Had biscuits in B'fast. I read the newspaper. Checked my mails and cleaned my vsnl.net email account. I cooked Bilahi Masor Tenga (Fish curry with Tomatoes), Aloo Palak for lunch. Finished lunch by around 1:30. Was feeling terribly sleepy and slept for an hour. Woke up at around 2:30, had bath. Sat with my laptop, did some random hitch hiking and updated some personal documents. In between made my evening tea. Ooops, it was already 6:00PM by then. I planned to cook Chole Masala and so readied all the raw materials. I had put Channa to soak in water the previous night itself. Solved some puzzles, had dinner with Chole and Paratha, followed by milk shakes and finally went to sleep at 11:00PM

22nd December - 2010, Wednesday

I woke up at 9:00AM Today. Had bread-butter in b'fast. Read the newspaper. Checked my mails.I was feeling like writing some PHP stuffs. It had been ages looking at PHP and so I thought to just have a revision and so started doing it. The whole day, I spent writing a few random scripts, and had just maggie for my lunch. Finally, I wind it up at around 5:00PM, and then had a cup of tea. I read some stuffs like algorithms and data structures. Had lunch with fish curry from Tuesday and finally slept at 11:00PM. The whole day today, I did not watch TV, didn't take a bath nor slept.

23rd December - 2010, Thursday

I woke up at 8:30AM Today. Had biscuits with tea in b'fast. Read the newspaper. Checked my mails. I started reading stuffs left from last night and felt like taking some programming tests online. I took two C programming tests and my God I felt so illiterate in C programming. It was Thursday today and as always a day for load shedding. I was up with my laptop till it died of battery. It was 12:30PM and I was feeling so hungry. I went to the nearby veggie restaurant and ate Hakka noodles. I went out of home after 4 long days of staying inside. The car was lying idle and so took it out for a drive to the petrol pump. The petrol cost was INR60.45 per liter. Life has indeed become so dearer. Returned home by around 2:00PM and was feeling terribly sleepy. Slept for an hour or so. Had dinner with Tuesday's Chole. Watched a movie named Crash and slept at 12:00AM.

24th December - 2010, Friday

I woke up at 8:30 AM Today. Had Bread-Cheese in B'fast. Read almost the whole newspaper and it was 10:30 by then. Checked my mails and tried reading some stuffs. By 11:30, I started cooking my lunch. I cooked fish curry with cauliflower-potato and finished my lunch by around 1:30PM. I just lied down in bed listening to music, made a cup of tea in between and spent the entire afternoon. I went out to buy stuffs, bought mutton for X'Mas eve dinner all with myself. Had yummy roasted mutton with Paratha and finally went to sleep by 11:00PM.

25th December - 2010, Saturday

I woke up at 8:30 AM Today. Had Biscuits and Tea in B'fast. Read newspaper. Checked my mails and random surf of the net, and oops its already 11:30AM. I don't plan to eat lunch today so relieved from cooking for the time. Booked a ticket for The Tourist at 6:45PM Today. Read through stuffs and had Maggie in between. Slept for an hour so and woke up at 3:30PM. Watched random programmes in TV, had my evening Tea in between. It was 5:30PM and I had to get ready for the movie. Watched The Tourist in ESquare, okay sort of movie and returned home by 9:00PM. I cooked rice, and had it with fish curry from yesterday and finally slept by around 11:00PM.

26th December - 2010, Sunday

Today is the last day of my Year End Break.

I woke up at 8:30AM Today. Had Biscuits & Tea in B'fast. Read almost the whole Sunday Times and took a English Vocabulary test. It was 11:00 AM by then and I had to clean my house. It was almost 12:30PM by the time I cleaned the house and had bath. I had to cook my lunch. Cooked chicken curry and finished lunch by around 2:30PM. I was already so tired and so took a nap for an hour or so. I read through some stuffs and had my evening Tea in between. Was reading and watching TV. I was not planning to eat any heavy stuffs for dinner, ate just bread-butter. Slept by around 11:00PM.

           So, it was a quiet and solo vacation of 9 days ... all with myself. I don't know if I made it large, but it was a nice time spent with myself.

P.S: This post has a lot of grammatical mistakes mainly tense related.

Season's Greetings

Yet Another Year End Break

So, finally its almost the end of 2010 and my Year End Break starts this morning. I plan to spend my holidays in my own ways, all with myself and all alone. Its good spend sometime far away from Outlook mails, far from the daily routine. Sleep, cook, watch TV, surf net, music ... that's what I am going to do anyways. Today is the 1st day of the holidays, but I am already sad that these holidays will also finish soon without even realizing it.

Say No To Fire Crackers

Don't You Advocate for Car Pooling ?

Don't You Say Against Usage of Tissue Papers ?

Don't You Ask for Banning Plastic Bags ?

Don't You Discuss "Going Green !!!" ?

!!! STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE !!!

... IT'S TIME TO SAY YOU REALLY CARE ...

-- THIS DIWALI --

-- SAY NO TO FIRECRACKERS --

LEAVE THE TYPICAL CHALTA HAIN INDIAN MENTALITY

DIWALI COME ONCE IN A YEAR

but,

SO2 FUCK THE ATMOSPHERE FOREVER

The Joy of Buying

I enjoy shopping a lot; let it be buying clothes, technical books. But a few days back, I enjoyed buying something different. I bought a Twitter app called Gravity for my Symbian phone. Its an amazing piece of software, with a great UI in just $10. Actually, this is the first software I have bought. Most of the softwares for my personal computing needs are accomplished with free softwares. Firefox, YM, Gtalk, Skype, VLC, FileZilla, WinSCP, NotePad++, DevC++. The operating system is from OEM and office suite is under my employer's volume license. And since I work in a security company, the antivirus is from free for employee offer. On the Linux side, everything is just free. I rely on Save As PDF in MS Office for making PDF files or sometimes even do a online conversion where the content of my doc is not confidential. So, never actually felt the need of buying software. So, buying Gravity was a great feel good experience. It supports Twitter, Facebook, Google Reader and a few others, but I bought it mainly for Twitter. I would highly recommend Gravity who is a Twitter user and want to use it in his mobile phone.

Good Night ... Sweet Dreams

WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high

Where knowledge is free

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments

By narrow domestic walls

Where words come out from the depth of truth

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way

Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit

Where the mind is led forward by thee

Into ever-widening thought and action

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake. 

 

Rabindranath Tagore

To crib or not to crib ?

"Crib" - I could never find a meaning of this word in the context of my usage. I crib a lot i.e I complain a lot without doing anything about to tackle my complaints by myself. I was wondering if there is an English word to describe such a behavior. Indeed, I crib a lot. I crib about the potholes ridden roads, shitty traffic, unethical way of driving in the road. I even crib about my work, salary, designation and even about people around me. While some of the cribs, I think are not in my control but a majority of the others are either utter nonsenses or it needs a lot of actions on my part. I think sometimes that I should not crib, but I get confused when I hear people saying that you don't get anything if you don't crib, specially in the corporate world. In the other world, ruled by corrupt bureaucrats and government officials, the art of cribbing has no place. In corporates, whether you need a raise in your perks or need a trip abroad or anything you desire to have, you have to crib. And, over the time, I feel, I am slowly entering in the labyrinth of cribbing. Sometimes I crib, ya I do a lot. I have seen the effectiveness of cribbing on other peoples. When I see a crib getting answered in the way one wanted, I get confused whether its a positive side of cribbing or is it a mediocrity of those who answer the cribs. One thing I feel, you crib most when you keep comparing yourself with others and it probably happens due to lack of self recognition or self confidence. But, then you crib that you did not get the right opportunity to recognize your true potential.One crib brings another crib. This way, the process of cribbing continues in a recursive manner, until the mind overflows (Stack Overflow!).

I still try to find the answer of to crib or not to crib ?

P.S : I don't know if "Crib" is the right spelling for the word I was trying to write about. I could not find it in any of the dictionary.

a lot like avatar

I was late in watching James Cameron's Avatar. While most people watched it last December, I watched it just a few days back when the special edition is re-released. Great movie... amazing effects but could have been a bit shorter as my eyes got strained wearing the 3D glasses for 3 long hrs. I don't know about other people but I took away not the special effects of the movie but a feeling about the happenings around me, which is a lot like Avatar. The Maoist problem in India. I know bloodshed can never be justified, but there is a limit to which exploitation remain tolerated. I would myself had not tolerated if someone take away my home, my land in the name of refineries, mining or any other shits. I am not at all trying to justify the killings of the innocent people and security personnels, but our lawmakers should try to solve the problem rather than trying to suppress it. Similar was the case in North East, and the problem still remains. And there are people like Anil Agarwal of Vedanta, who in his blind aspiration of becoming the richest Indian is playing the role of Parker in India's Avatar...

A Missing Feeling...

I hate this feeling. The feeling that from tomorrow we wont be working together, we wont be eating together, we wont be sharing jokes. As I was bidding farewell to my friend, I had all these thoughts running through my mind and I felt sad, very sad. While I feel happy as my friend is moving on in life, but I know from tomorrow life at the workplace will be altogether a different one. A vacant feeling will engulf it. But, the memories will be cherished forever. With a promise to remain in touch always...

The Ultimate Gift

The Gift of Work : You know, you do any work like you just did… you can do anything.

The Gift of Money: The charge card company declined the charge. That's impossible. I don't have a credit limit. Just run it through again. It's always our practice to run it through again, but they declined.

The Gift of Friends: I need a friend.You expect this friendship to continue? I plan on knowing Jason for the rest of my life.

The Gift of Learning: Do you truly know how to learn? Villagers wait for books. You bring them new books. They are waiting for you to pick up old books. Exchange. Library.

The Gift of Problems: Well, you don't begin to live until you've lost everything. Heck, I've lost everything three or four times. It's the perfect place to start.

The Gift of Family: And Emily, she's the best decision I ever made. What's gonna happen to my mom? I really don't hate her, you know.

The Gift of Laughter: –Salud. –Salud –Salud 

The Gift of Dreams: You need to be free, free to dream. You need to come up with a dream, then act on it. And honestly, I don't know if I have my own dream. But I do know I can help others fulfill theirs.

The Gift of Giving: She owes $1,600 in back rent. So, apparently… someone came by and covered my back rent.

The Gift of a Day: What would your dream be? My dream? My dream was a perfect day. And I'm just finishing it.

The Gift of Love: I love you, Son. – I love you too.

Courtesy: The Ultimate Gift

< -- no title -- >

Finally, the day of the demo came. I along with another colleague were developing a prototype for almost a month and we had to demonstrate it to some fellows very high in the hierarchy. Since the demo was meant to be shown to people across geographical sites, we decided to go for a backup video, in case the network play foul. There was no GUI involved, just a few SSH sessions were to be recorded as we execute the programs. Just a 10 min demo video may be. We had the right video making software, the right infrastructure, but still it took us almost 5 hours to record the final video. Every time something or the other goes wrong and hence we had to repeat it. Towards the end of it we almost had gone nuts, but could produce a nice video. And, the demo and everything went fine. Later, when I thought over it, I realized how much hard work actually went for such a small video and people make movies of hours with actual human beings. Just think about the effort and work involved, may be even for those movies which we tag as B -Grade. And, it takes such a small time to judge if a movie is a hit or a flop. The movie critics who actually earn a lot of money just by saying that all those efforts are piece of shits, and is not worth the bucks. Probably, hard work is not everything. If it is, a donkey would have been the most acclaimed and appreciated animal.

6 Yrs. and counting

Yesterday, I completed six years of my professional life. I still remember the day when I started my career. New place, new people, indeed everything was new. Excited, and nervous. I told to myself, everything will be just fine. Six years have passed since and here I am. During all these years, I learned a lot of things, technical, non-technical, political and what not. I have grown from a college guy to a man, more matured, responsible. I have learned to control my emotions at work place, but on this sphere I still have a long way to go. Earned some moolah, paid back some share to the society. Next year, or may be year after that or some more years after that, when I sit and want to write about that year's anniversary of my professional life, I want to write something different from what I am writing today. Something more than just about earning my bread. I hope I'll !!!

Waka Waka & Rainy Days

Posting after a long time. Was not finding anything to write on. Although I blog mostly just for the sake of blogging, but last few weeks did not find the sake also. Blame it on Waka Waka Soccer time or just at the cozy rainy days. Although not watching every matches, but watching some of them. I am planning to watch Katrina in Raajneeti for almost two weeks now, but still have not gone for it. Apathy or Multiplex Prices... I don't know. I am loving my professional life these days. Ah no, not that I am working on some bleeding edge stuffs, but just because lots of corporate lunches happening these days. And I love corporate lunches. Its free and I end up eating so much that I don't have to worry for the dinner on that day. I am full and I just skip it. Who says there is nothing like free lunch? Another blog post, just for the sake of blogging :-)

being idle in solitude

"If you are idle, be not solitary. If you are solitary, be not idle."
                                                               -- Samuel Johnson

As they say, an idle brain is a devil's workshop. And, solitary idleness is worse than that. I read it somewhere that loneliness is a state of mind when one can't live with oneself. Its a situation when someone stops liking oneself and finds it difficult to lead life with his own life. A difficult thing indeed. But if the mind is possessed with something productive, or just with pleasant things, one can never be lonely. Time just flew through the window. But its hell if idleness and solitude comes hand in hand. Looking at my own life, I can very well perceive the depth of it. It really becomes hard to move on with myself when I am both idle and solo, life feels like a wet blanket. It makes you see the dark side of everything, rebuke yourself, and just one phrase reigns the supreme... What If !!! Sooner you come out of the idleness, the better it is. Else, it becomes difficult to spend the Friday evening ...

God Sees the Truth, But Waits

I was watching The Shawshank Redemption, and in the midway I felt as though the story resembles God Sees the Truth, But Waits by Leo Tolstoy, one of my favorite writers. While movie says "Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies", and had a pleasant and feel good end, Tolstoy's story had something else.

In the town of Vladimir lived a young merchant named Ivan Dmitrich Aksionov. He had two shops and a house of his own. Aksionov was a handsome, fair-haired, curly-headed fellow, full of fun, and very fond of singing. When quite a young man he had been given to drink, and was riotous when he had had too much; but after he married he gave up drinking, except now and then.
One summer Aksionov was going to the Nizhny Fair, and as he bade good-bye to his family, his wife said to him, "Ivan Dmitrich, do not start to-day; I have had a bad dream about you."
Aksionov laughed, and said, "You are afraid that when I get to the fair I shall go on a spree."
His wife replied: "I do not know what I am afraid of; all I know is that I had a bad dream. I dreamt you returned from the town, and when you took off your cap I saw that your hair was quite grey."
Aksionov laughed. "That's a lucky sign," said he. "See if I don't sell out all my goods, and bring you some presents from the fair."
So he said good-bye to his family, and drove away.
When he had travelled half-way, he met a merchant whom he knew, and they put up at the same inn for the night. They had some tea together, and then went to bed in adjoining rooms.
It was not Aksionov's habit to sleep late, and, wishing to travel while it was still cool, he aroused his driver before dawn, and told him to put in the horses.
Then he made his way across to the landlord of the inn (who lived in a cottage at the back), paid his bill, and continued his journey.
When he had gone about twenty-five miles, he stopped for the horses to be fed. Aksionov rested awhile in the passage of the inn, then he stepped out into the porch, and, ordering a samovar to be heated, got out his guitar and began to play.
Suddenly a troika drove up with tinkling bells and an official alighted, followed by two soldiers. He came to Aksionov and began to question him, asking him who he was and whence he came. Aksionov answered him fully, and said, "Won't you have some tea with me?" But the official went on cross-questioning him and asking him. "Where did you spend last night? Were you alone, or with a fellow-merchant? Did you see the other merchant this morning? Why did you leave the inn before dawn?"
Aksionov wondered why he was asked all these questions, but he described all that had happened, and then added, "Why do you cross-question me as if I were a thief or a robber? I am travelling on business of my own, and there is no need to question me."
Then the official, calling the soldiers, said, "I am the police-officer of this district, and I question you because the merchant with whom you spent last night has been found with his throat cut. We must search your things."
They entered the house. The soldiers and the police-officer unstrapped Aksionov's luggage and searched it. Suddenly the officer drew a knife out of a bag, crying, "Whose knife is this?"
Aksionov looked, and seeing a blood-stained knife taken from his bag, he was frightened.
"How is it there is blood on this knife?"
Aksionov tried to answer, but could hardly utter a word, and only stammered: "I--don't know--not mine." Then the police-officer said: "This morning the merchant was found in bed with his throat cut. You are the only person who could have done it. The house was locked from inside, and no one else was there. Here is this blood-stained knife in your bag and your face and manner betray you! Tell me how you killed him, and how much money you stole?"
Aksionov swore he had not done it; that he had not seen the merchant after they had had tea together; that he had no money except eight thousand rubles of his own, and that the knife was not his. But his voice was broken, his face pale, and he trembled with fear as though he went guilty.
The police-officer ordered the soldiers to bind Aksionov and to put him in the cart. As they tied his feet together and flung him into the cart, Aksionov crossed himself and wept. His money and goods were taken from him, and he was sent to the nearest town and imprisoned there. Enquiries as to his character were made in Vladimir. The merchants and other inhabitants of that town said that in former days he used to drink and waste his time, but that he was a good man. Then the trial came on: he was charged with murdering a merchant from Ryazan, and robbing him of twenty thousand rubles.
His wife was in despair, and did not know what to believe. Her children were all quite small; one was a baby at her breast. Taking them all with her, she went to the town where her husband was in jail. At first she was not allowed to see him; but after much begging, she obtained permission from the officials, and was taken to him. When she saw her husband in prison-dress and in chains, shut up with thieves and criminals, she fell down, and did not come to her senses for a long time. Then she drew her children to her, and sat down near him. She told him of things at home, and asked about what had happened to him. He told her all, and she asked, "What can we do now?"
"We must petition the Czar not to let an innocent man perish."
His wife told him that she had sent a petition to the Czar, but it had not been accepted.
Aksionov did not reply, but only looked downcast.
Then his wife said, "It was not for nothing I dreamt your hair had turned grey. You remember? You should not have started that day." And passing her fingers through his hair, she said: "Vanya dearest, tell your wife the truth; was it not you who did it?"
"So you, too, suspect me!" said Aksionov, and, hiding his face in his hands, he began to weep. Then a soldier came to say that the wife and children must go away; and Aksionov said good-bye to his family for the last time.
When they were gone, Aksionov recalled what had been said, and when he remembered that his wife also had suspected him, he said to himself, "It seems that only God can know the truth; it is to Him alone we must appeal, and from Him alone expect mercy."
And Aksionov wrote no more petitions; gave up all hope, and only prayed to God.
Aksionov was condemned to be flogged and sent to the mines. So he was flogged with a knot, and when the wounds made by the knot were healed, he was driven to Siberia with other convicts.
For twenty-six years Aksionov lived as a convict in Siberia. His hair turned white as snow, and his beard grew long, thin, and grey. All his mirth went; he stooped; he walked slowly, spoke little, and never laughed, but he often prayed.
In prison Aksionov learnt to make boots, and earned a little money, with which he bought The Lives of the Saints. He read this book when there was light enough in the prison; and on Sundays in the prison-church he read the lessons and sang in the choir; for his voice was still good.
The prison authorities liked Aksionov for his meekness, and his fellow-prisoners respected him: they called him "Grandfather," and "The Saint." When they wanted to petition the prison authorities about anything, they always made Aksionov their spokesman, and when there were quarrels among the prisoners they came to him to put things right, and to judge the matter.
No news reached Aksionov from his home, and he did not even know if his wife and children were still alive.
One day a fresh gang of convicts came to the prison. In the evening the old prisoners collected round the new ones and asked them what towns or villages they came from, and what they were sentenced for. Among the rest Aksionov sat down near the newcomers, and listened with downcast air to what was said.
One of the new convicts, a tall, strong man of sixty, with a closely-cropped grey beard, was telling the others what be had been arrested for.
"Well, friends," he said, "I only took a horse that was tied to a sledge, and I was arrested and accused of stealing. I said I had only taken it to get home quicker, and had then let it go; besides, the driver was a personal friend of mine. So I said, 'It's all right.' 'No,' said they, 'you stole it.' But how or where I stole it they could not say. I once really did something wrong, and ought by rights to have come here long ago, but that time I was not found out. Now I have been sent here for nothing at all... Eh, but it's lies I'm telling you; I've been to Siberia before, but I did not stay long."
"Where are you from?" asked some one.
"From Vladimir. My family are of that town. My name is Makar, and they also call me Semyonich."
Aksionov raised his head and said: "Tell me, Semyonich, do you know anything of the merchants Aksionov of Vladimir? Are they still alive?"
"Know them? Of course I do. The Aksionovs are rich, though their father is in Siberia: a sinner like ourselves, it seems! As for you, Gran'dad, how did you come here?"
Aksionov did not like to speak of his misfortune. He only sighed, and said, "For my sins I have been in prison these twenty-six years."
"What sins?" asked Makar Semyonich.
But Aksionov only said, "Well, well--I must have deserved it!" He would have said no more, but his companions told the newcomers how Aksionov came to be in Siberia; how some one had killed a merchant, and had put the knife among Aksionov's things, and Aksionov had been unjustly condemned.
When Makar Semyonich heard this, he looked at Aksionov, slapped his own knee, and exclaimed, "Well, this is wonderful! Really wonderful! But how old you've grown, Gran'dad!"
The others asked him why he was so surprised, and where he had seen Aksionov before; but Makar Semyonich did not reply. He only said: "It's wonderful that we should meet here, lads!"
These words made Aksionov wonder whether this man knew who had killed the merchant; so he said, "Perhaps, Semyonich, you have heard of that affair, or maybe you've seen me before?"
"How could I help hearing? The world's full of rumours. But it's a long time ago, and I've forgotten what I heard."
"Perhaps you heard who killed the merchant?" asked Aksionov.
Makar Semyonich laughed, and replied: "It must have been him in whose bag the knife was found! If some one else hid the knife there, 'He's not a thief till he's caught,' as the saying is. How could any one put a knife into your bag while it was under your head? It would surely have woke you up."
When Aksionov heard these words, he felt sure this was the man who had killed the merchant. He rose and went away. All that night Aksionov lay awake. He felt terribly unhappy, and all sorts of images rose in his mind. There was the image of his wife as she was when he parted from her to go to the fair. He saw her as if she were present; her face and her eyes rose before him; he heard her speak and laugh. Then he saw his children, quite little, as they: were at that time: one with a little cloak on, another at his mother's breast. And then he remembered himself as he used to be-young and merry. He remembered how he sat playing the guitar in the porch of the inn where he was arrested, and how free from care he had been. He saw, in his mind, the place where he was flogged, the executioner, and the people standing around; the chains, the convicts, all the twenty-six years of his prison life, and his premature old age. The thought of it all made him so wretched that he was ready to kill himself.
"And it's all that villain's doing!" thought Aksionov. And his anger was so great against Makar Semyonich that he longed for vengeance, even if he himself should perish for it. He kept repeating prayers all night, but could get no peace. During the day he did not go near Makar Semyonich, nor even look at him.
A fortnight passed in this way. Aksionov could not sleep at night, and was so miserable that he did not know what to do.
One night as he was walking about the prison he noticed some earth that came rolling out from under one of the shelves on which the prisoners slept. He stopped to see what it was. Suddenly Makar Semyonich crept out from under the shelf, and looked up at Aksionov with frightened face. Aksionov tried to pass without looking at him, but Makar seized his hand and told him that he had dug a hole under the wall, getting rid of the earth by putting it into his high-boots, and emptying it out every day on the road when the prisoners were driven to their work.
"Just you keep quiet, old man, and you shall get out too. If you blab, they'll flog the life out of me, but I will kill you first."
Aksionov trembled with anger as he looked at his enemy. He drew his hand away, saying, "I have no wish to escape, and you have no need to kill me; you killed me long ago! As to telling of you--I may do so or not, as God shall direct."
Next day, when the convicts were led out to work, the convoy soldiers noticed that one or other of the prisoners emptied some earth out of his boots. The prison was searched and the tunnel found. The Governor came and questioned all the prisoners to find out who had dug the hole. They all denied any knowledge of it. Those who knew would not betray Makar Semyonich, knowing he would be flogged almost to death. At last the Governor turned to Aksionov whom he knew to be a just man, and said:
"You are a truthful old man; tell me, before God, who dug the hole?"
Makar Semyonich stood as if he were quite unconcerned, looking at the Governor and not so much as glancing at Aksionov. Aksionov's lips and hands trembled, and for a long time he could not utter a word. He thought, "Why should I screen him who ruined my life? Let him pay for what I have suffered. But if I tell, they will probably flog the life out of him, and maybe I suspect him wrongly. And, after all, what good would it be to me?"
"Well, old man," repeated the Governor, "tell me the truth: who has been digging under the wall?"
Aksionov glanced at Makar Semyonich, and said, "I cannot say, your honour. It is not God's will that I should tell! Do what you like with me; I am your hands."
However much the Governor! tried, Aksionov would say no more, and so the matter had to be left.
That night, when Aksionov was lying on his bed and just beginning to doze, some one came quietly and sat down on his bed. He peered through the darkness and recognised Makar.
"What more do you want of me?" asked Aksionov. "Why have you come here?"
Makar Semyonich was silent. So Aksionov sat up and said, "What do you want? Go away, or I will call the guard!"
Makar Semyonich bent close over Aksionov, and whispered, "Ivan Dmitrich, forgive me!"
"What for?" asked Aksionov.
"It was I who killed the merchant and hid the knife among your things. I meant to kill you too, but I heard a noise outside, so I hid the knife in your bag and escaped out of the window."
Aksionov was silent, and did not know what to say. Makar Semyonich slid off the bed-shelf and knelt upon the ground. "Ivan Dmitrich," said he, "forgive me! For the love of God, forgive me! I will confess that it was I who killed the merchant, and you will be released and can go to your home."
"It is easy for you to talk," said Aksionov, "but I have suffered for you these twenty-six years. Where could I go to now?... My wife is dead, and my children have forgotten me. I have nowhere to go..."
Makar Semyonich did not rise, but beat his head on the floor. "Ivan Dmitrich, forgive me!" he cried. "When they flogged me with the knot it was not so hard to bear as it is to see you now ... yet you had pity on me, and did not tell. For Christ's sake forgive me, wretch that I am!" And he began to sob.
When Aksionov heard him sobbing he, too, began to weep. "God will forgive you!" said he. "Maybe I am a hundred times worse than you." And at these words his heart grew light, and the longing for home left him. He no longer had any desire to leave the prison, but only hoped for his last hour to come.
In spite of what Aksionov had said, Makar Semyonich confessed, his guilt. But when the order for his release came, Aksionov was already dead.

Yet Another Day of Life ...

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another Sunny Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for none
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely but I'm waiting for none
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday they told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here, I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired, Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation has always been good for me
Isolation is okay, but I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree

I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday they told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday they told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree ...

Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden
(some words changed to fit the mood)

An Open Letter to Ramdev Baba...

Disclaimer: The content of this post is totally my own thinking, and is no way meant or intended for hurting the sentiments or feelings of anyone.

Dear Ramdev Baba,

At the outset of this letter, I would like to introduce myself just as an ordinary citizen of this country. I am not at all a follower of you, or rather I even don't give a damn to all those nonsense you keep uttering in the TV channels. I just take you as one of those saffron wearing long beared people's God, who is earning easy money and people's support by doing nothing but by selling God's word. Oh no, don't think I am an atheist. I am just someone who take religion and God as the way of life, believe in working hard, abide by the laws of the country and just live and let live.

I really dont have any problem to what you and all those long beareded people say or teach, because I dont have time for such things. But sometimes, when things prick to the nerves, we should raise our voice. Recently, as I was surfing through the TV channels, I accidently heard something which you were telling to a mass of around five thousand people or may be more. You said, the way India has embraced a foreign language (English) in the day to day lives, its wrong for the country. You gave examples of Germany, France and some other countries. Now, in this context, I would like to tell you that please make your facts correct before uttering nonsense. Do you know why most of the jobs and works get outsourced to India for which our countrymen gets employment and can earn their bread and butter? Its because, Indians are good in English, apart from being good in Science and Mathematics. We are better than Chienses only in this aspect and thats why, in recent decades our economy has improved. I just can't imagine the rate of unemployment our country would have, had those private sector jobs were not there. And its all because of the good English eucation we have in our country.

If not others, let me take my own example. I can read, write and speak English and that's the reason why I am employed by an MNC and for which I am able to pay 30% of my income as tax to the country. And, I feel proud about it. In this context, one question arose in my mind. Do you pay taxes of your income from Patanjali ? I guess not. Dude, its very easy to teach people how to take oxygen inside our body, murmer "Bharat Mata Ki Jai" or "Go Mata Ki Jai", but it's not very easy to fill up the stomach and buy the bare necessities of life. If you are so much a patriot, why did not you join the forces to protect the country? Do you know that Chinese are encroaching land in the remote North East? Why dont go there with your followers and stop that? I heard you speaking a lot when the country was down with Swine Flu. Did you do anything for that? I heard you speaking against celebration of Valentine's Day. For your information Valentine's Day doesnot promote pornography or prostitution. Its just a celebration of love and relationship. It makes people happy. Don't you yourself say that at the end of the day happiness is what matters? Such an example of hypocrisy.

I know whatever you are doing is just your home work for joining politics. The common people are so simple that they will give you votes thinking you as an avatar of God. But, I can foresee the future of the country when people like you will be making laws. In you and all those saffron wearing babas, I see the image of a Hindu Taliban, you people sound like fundamentalists. Whatever you teach people are mostly taken from all those sacred books, Vedas. So there is nothing new in your stuffs. You are just doing the job of a teacher who refer textbooks to teach his pupils. So, don't think yourself to be very great. I admire your dream of a healthy India, but please don't play with the innocence of the people. Don't gumrah them.

Yours Sincerely,
A Citizen of India

The Devil Of Small Things

Often, while on the flow of life, I get irritated by small things which I feel should be a common sense on the other person's part. I see educated people around doing silly stuffs which are not at all expected from them. Probably, common senses are not so common and only education can't teach you all these. After all common senses are senses and one need to be sensible to acquire those. Just a few examples of things I observe in my daily life, which I find really irritating and annoying.

• I often see people in my office cafeteria carrying newspapers to the table from the common newspaper section and not putting it back once they are done. Probably, they are so busy or have such a hectic work schedule ahead, that it just slipped their mind. Similarly, not pushing back the chair after he/she leaves.
• Another common annoying thing is observed in the elevators. Many people, never waits for people to get out of the elevator and start entering as soon as the elevator door opens.
• Breaking the Queue. I already wrote about it in one of my earlier blog posts. Not observing the discipline of the queue in public places should be made an offence.
• Going on the wrong direction of the road, just to avoid a few yards of an 'U' turn.
• Unnecessarily talking to waiters in restaurants in a dominating voice. Remember, we pay for the food and service and don't actually buy the waiters.
• Indisciplined way of parking vehicles in common parking area. Some people often park their vehicle with an attitude of "It's Okay", making it difficult for others. Vehicle parking is a skill which is acquired over a period of time, but but not knowing how to park a vehicle can't be an excuse, specially in a common parking space.
• And the list goes on... 

Tired, Bored

I wish I could wipe out the time from 2:30PM to 6:30PM from the day. Just can't tolerate the heat. Every time I think about staying back at home in weekends and have some solo time, relax, this f**king heat makes me go mad. I miss my Shillong days :-(. Anyways, nothing much happening in life. Not much pressure in work life, weekends spent under house arrest. Actually, I am tired and bored.These days, I am even reluctant to cook my favorite food for the utter laziness and  I feel due to the heat. Just waiting for another one month to pass and then monsoon. Aimless life is indeed like a rudderless boat.

Cute Song

I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do, is grow old with you

I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
So, it could be so nice growing old with you,....

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man that grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you.

Title: I wanna Grow Old With You 

Singer: Adam Sandler

OST : The Wedding Singer

anecdotes from yet another technophile

Yes. That's the name of my other blog @ http://paribhaasha.wordpress.com/. A blog totally dedicated to current technology, my own academic and professional interests.

The Changing Pattern

Its been almost 6 yrs now that I have been blogging, and it feels nice to read through the old posts. As I was going through my older posts, I realized that there is a unique pattern in the contents of my posts which is a reflection of my life, then and now. I write for myself; I shout, I console, I rebuke ... all for myself. So Selfish !!! The posts in 2005 and 2006 mainly gives the idea of a person who is just out of college, trying to adjust with the professional life and mainly quarter life crisis, lack of a girl friend etc. In 2007, the posts were extremely depressing, sad and annoying. If I read through those posts now, I can't believe that I had written those. Such strong languages, sense of despair, hopelessness and pessimism. The posts were like By the River XYZ, I sat down and wept. 2008 was a year of writing for the masses. It was the year when India witnessed the most and the horrific terror attacks. So, the posts were mainly on "What's Going On ?" type. A frustrated helpless citizen of a country which is bleeding. But otherwise, it seemed like that I was quite stable mentally, personally and professionally. 2009 was a cool year. Posts were mainly on music, movies, day-to-day life. 2010... its just 4 months now and hence no pattern detected. Someday, may be after 20 years from now, if I still continue this trend and habit of writing blogs, it will be nice to compile everything in one single book named Anecdotes from the Life of an Ordinary Man, I don't know if anybody will publish it but there will be atleast one buyer... that's me.  But, its evident that writing actually reflect our state of mind. And reading through my own writings I can confidently say that I have grown matured over the years. I have gained better control of my life. That's Good...

Yummy Kentuckies

For sometime I was craving for Kentucky fried chickens. Bored of staying under house arrest for a few weeks, finally I went out to hangout all with myself. I bought some music CDs, books and usual window shopping. Something in the mall reminded me of my college library. As I was browsing through the book pages, a teenaged couple sat by my side and disguised as book readers started doing PDA (Public Display of Affection). They were a cute young couple, and I left the spot to give them some privacy. Similar scenes were seen in my college library, where a few fortunate boys could grab one of from the scarce female species, and library was their favorite haunts. Anyways. Finally stood in a long queue to grab my potion of Kentucky, and headed towards home. It was so humid today and I sweated like hell. More or less, it was a pacifying evening spent.

linkedin.com

Over the past few weeks, I am increasingly visiting linkedin.com, and building my professional network of trusted contacts. In fact its my favorite way to kill my time. Just go through the public profiles, read through the works they have done. It feels nice to read through the professional achievements of people and sometimes its a bit depressing to think on my own context if I have done anything great in the last 6 years of my professional life, besides doing justice to my salary. But, trying to go with the pace, I too have built my professional profile. Bits and bytes of the works I have done, I can call it my online resume. But seriously, linkedin.com is amazing. It really feels good to read through works done by great minds. I was going through the professional profile of one of the great minds, architect of my company. 20 years back he wrote his own CVS for version control of sources, and it was being used for 10+ years in the company until the company moved to some enterprise CVS solution. At the end of the day, its do what you love and love what you do...

Me & My Vagabond

Like many others, I even fell pray to the critical illness of one sided love during my college days. It took almost 2 semesters (1 yr.) to come out of the confusion. As I was recovering from it, I used to listen to all those sentimental heart broken songs. But as they say, time heals everything. I got rid of the abnormality too  and became normal once again. However, the whole episode introduced me to some nice heart breaking songs and one of them being Main Aur Meri Awargi by Kishore Kumar from the movie Duniya (1984). Awesome lyrics by Javed Akhtar and music by R.D. Burman. I used to listen to this song in a loop, lying down in my hostel room, staring blank at the ceiling. Now, I can't stop but laugh at myself when I think back :-D But the song is still my favorite and I listen to it often even now; ofcourse I no longer stare blank at my ceiling.

Here is the song:

It’s a long way to the sea

in a move to align the cost structures across all geographical sites, all are expected to fill up their own water bottles from the water dispensers...
      A house-keeping guy was trying to move a water dispenser, newly bought, in the cafeteria. So, when his job of filling up the water bottles will be done by people themselves, from these water dispensers, it means from tomorrow he is no longer required for this task. I felt as though I was being asked to do something which is going to take over my work soon and is a threat to my daily bread & butter; and still I have to do it and I am doing it. I remembered an Assamese movie named Xagoroloi Bohudoor (It’s a long way to the sea). The story revolves around a boatman who earns his living by sailing boat in the nearby ghats. Problem arises when the government decides to construct a bridge on it which will deprive his earnings. His son who lives in city wants his father only to take care of their property. I co-related that it's the same feeling of watching the inauguration of a bridge by a boatman, he knows everyone will use the bridge to cross the river and he has gone unemployed from now onwards. Although, people says life moves on, this is not the end to it, sometimes I feel these thoughts to be too much heavy. May be strong "F" (feeling) part of my character kicking in here.

An Hour for the Earth

One of my friend tweeted ... "We Celebrate Four Earth Hours everyday. Some of the fortunate folks from rural India celebrate as high as 12 to 14 hours of earth hours daily !!!" I took a moment and thought for a while and felt the strong message behind this. But when rich nations talk about conservation of energy, I feel a bitter hypocrisy. Developed nations waste energy like anything. Wash off yourself first before pointing fingers at others' ass. Last year when I was in the States for some weeks, I myself observed how the lights in the corridors of buildings are switch on 24x7, that too all incandescent bulbs.. while we in India, inspite of being poor are far more energy conscious to buy CFLs. And one fine day these nations will come out of an idea of observing Earth Hour to conserve energy. Waste energy all through the year and as a mere stunt of showing care, observe Earth Hour. And, news channels will say "Sydney Dims Lights for earth Hour"... "Lights in Eiffel Tower switched off to observe Earth Hour" etc etc. I am not against Earth Hour. Even I'll keep my lights off from 8:30PM to 9:30PM to observe Earth Hour. Its a good way of spreading the message among rustics. Save Energy For India's Self Reliance.

Will they make them sing in German, even the pigeons? ... I don't know

I have a very strong habit of collecting ebooks. It's like people collect stamps, coins, I collect ebooks. But, I am restricted to collecting only technical books... books on computers, or IT as people call it. Well, I don't think I am doing piracy or anything like that, because whenever I like a book, I buy it. And I strongly believe in buying the original book. Anyways, I am not  trying to write about piracy here. Most recently I realized that all these years I am just collecting books but not actually reading them. Everytime, I carry my laptop its like I am carrying an ocean of knowledge and wisdom in the form of bits and bytes, in the form of ebooks. And, I never ever spent some quality time trying to read them. Lately, I am feeling a bit guilty... I am feeling the same way little Franz felt in Alphonse Daudet's The Last Lesson. Many of us must have read this prose in high school. Every time I think about life seriously, I feel like little Franz. I feel how much time I must have wasted doing nothing. When time is actually running out, I feel there was so much good things to do. Its not that I am going to die sooner, but ya, there was so much thing to learn and know.  Just posting The Last Lesson here, as it happen to be one of those proses which I find relevant in our lives.

I started for school very late that morning and was in great dread of a scolding, especially because M. Hamel had said that he would question us on participles, and I did not know the first word about them. For a moment I thought of running away and spending the day out of doors. It was so warm, so bright! The birds were chirping at the edge of the woods; and in the open field back of the sawmill the Prussian soldiers were drilling. It was all much more tempting than the rule for participles, but I had the strength to resist, and hurried off to school.
When I passed the town hall there was a crowd in front of the bulletin-board. For the last two years all our bad news had come from there—the lost battles, the draft, the orders of the commanding officer—and I thought to myself, without stopping:
“What can be the matter now?”
Then, as I hurried by as fast as I could go, the blacksmith, Wachter, who was there, with his apprentice, reading the bulletin, called after me:
“Don’t go so fast, bub; you’ll get to your school in plenty of time!”
I thought he was making fun of me, and reached M. Hamel’s little garden all out of breath.
Usually, when school began, there was a great bustle, which could be heard out in the street, the opening and closing of desks, lessons repeated in unison, very loud, with our hands over our ears to understand better, and the teacher’s great ruler rapping on the table. But now it was all so still! I had counted on the commotion to get to my desk without being seen; but, of course, that day everything had to be as quiet as Sunday morning. Through the window I saw my classmates, already in their places, and M. Hamel walking up and down with his terrible iron ruler under his arm. I had to open the door and go in before everybody. You can imagine how I blushed and how frightened I was.
But nothing happened. M. Hamel saw me and said very kindly:
“Go to your place quickly, little Franz. We were beginning without you.”

I jumped over the bench and sat down at my desk. Not till then, when I had got a little over my fright, did I see that our teacher had on his beautiful green coat, his frilled shirt, and the little black silk cap, all embroidered, that he never wore except on inspection and prize days. Besides, the whole school seemed so strange and solemn. But the thing that surprised me most was to see, on the back benches that were always empty, the village people sitting quietly like ourselves; old Hauser, with his three-cornered hat, the former mayor, the former postmaster, and several others besides. Everybody looked sad; and Hauser had brought an old primer, thumbed at the edges, and he held it open on his knees with his great spectacles lying across the pages.
While I was wondering about it all, M. Hamel mounted his chair, and, in the same grave and gentle tone which he had used to me, said: “My children, this is the last lesson I shall give you. The order has come from Berlin to teach only German in the schools of Alsace and Lorraine. The new master comes to-morrow. This is your last French lesson. I want you to be very attentive.” What a thunderclap these words were to me!
Oh, the wretches; that was what they had put up at the town-hall!
My last French lesson! Why, I hardly knew how to write! I should never learn any more! I must stop there, then! Oh, how sorry I was for not learning my lessons, for seeking birds’ eggs, or going sliding on the Saar! My books, that had seemed such a nuisance a while ago, so heavy to carry, my grammar, and my history of the saints, were old friends now that I couldn’t give up. And M. Hamel, too; the idea that he was going away, that I should never see him again, made me forget all about his ruler and how cranky he was.
Poor man! It was in honor of this last lesson that he had put on his fine Sunday clothes, and now I understood why the old men of the village were sitting there in the back of the room. It was because they were sorry, too, that they had not gone to school more. It was their way of thanking our master for his forty years of faithful service and of showing their respect for the country that was theirs no more.
While I was thinking of all this, I heard my name called. It was my turn to recite. What would I not have given to be able to say that dreadful rule for the participle all through, very loud and clear, and without one mistake? But I got mixed up on the first words and stood there, holding on to my desk, my heart beating, and not daring to look up. I heard M. Hamel say to me:
“I won’t scold you, little Franz; you must feel bad enough. See how it is! Every day we have said to ourselves: ‘Bah! I’ve plenty of time. I’ll learn it to-morrow.’ And now you see where we’ve come out. Ah, that’s the great trouble with Alsace; she puts off learning till to-morrow. Now those fellows out there will have the right to say to you: ‘How is it; you pretend to be Frenchmen, and yet you can neither speak nor write your own language?’ But you are not the worst, poor little Franz. We’ve all a great deal to reproach ourselves with.
“Your parents were not anxious enough to have you learn. They preferred to put you to work on a farm or at the mills, so as to have a little more money. And I? I’ve been to blame also. Have I not often sent you to water my flowers instead of learning your lessons? And when I wanted to go fishing, did I not just give you a holiday?”
Then, from one thing to another, M. Hamel went on to talk of the French language, saying that it was the most beautiful language in the world—the clearest, the most logical; that we must guard it among us and never forget it, because when a people are enslaved, as long as they hold fast to their language it is as if they had the key to their prison. Then he opened a grammar and read us our lesson. I was amazed to see how well I understood it. All he said seemed so easy, so easy! I think, too, that I had never listened so carefully, and that he had never explained everything with so much patience. It seemed almost as if the poor man wanted to give us all he knew before going away, and to put it all into our heads at one stroke.
After the grammar, we had a lesson in writing. That day M. Hamel had new copies for us, written in a beautiful round hand: France, Alsace, France, Alsace. They looked like little flags floating everywhere in the school-room, hung from the rod at the top of our desks. You ought to have seen how every one set to work, and how quiet it was! The only sound was the scratching of the pens over the paper. Once some beetles flew in; but nobody paid any attention to them, not even the littlest ones, who worked right on tracing their fish-hooks, as if that was French, too. On the roof the pigeons cooed very low, and I thought to myself:
“Will they make them sing in German, even the pigeons?”
Whenever I looked up from my writing I saw M. Hamel sitting motionless in his chair and gazing first at one thing, then at another, as if he wanted to fix in his mind just how everything looked in that little school-room. Fancy! For forty years he had been there in the same place, with his garden outside the window and his class in front of him, just like that. Only the desks and benches had been worn smooth; the walnut-trees in the garden were taller, and the hopvine that he had planted himself twined about the windows to the roof. How it must have broken his heart to leave it all, poor man; to hear his sister moving about in the room above, packing their trunks! For they must leave the country next day.
But he had the courage to hear every lesson to the very last. After the writing, we had a lesson in history, and then the babies chanted their ba, be bi, bo, bu. Down there at the back of the room old Hauser had put on his spectacles and, holding his primer in both hands, spelled the letters with them. You could see that he, too, was crying; his voice trembled with emotion, and it was so funny to hear him that we all wanted to laugh and cry. Ah, how well I remember it, that last lesson!
All at once the church-clock struck twelve. Then the Angelus. At the same moment the trumpets of the Prussians, returning from drill, sounded under our windows. M. Hamel stood up, very pale, in his chair. I never saw him look so tall.
“My friends,” said he, “I—I—” But something choked him. He could not go on.
Then he turned to the blackboard, took a piece of chalk, and, bearing on with all his might, he wrote as large as he could:
“Vive La France!”
Then he stopped and leaned his head against the wall, and, without a word, he made a gesture to us with his hand:
“School is dismissed—you may go.”

The Pink Colored Slip...

How do u define a pink slip in the language of music ? Aaah... nothing to do with me being fired (atleast... till now). It just came to my mind. The following content is compiled here and there from the internet... just excerpts from some songs.

Eminem - Rock Bottom 

My life is full of empty promises, And broken dreams
I'm hoping things will look up
But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished
And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day

Bruce Springsteen - Down Bound Train 

I had a job, I had a girl
I had something going, mister, in this world
I got laid off down at the lumber yard
Our love went bad, times got hard
Now I work down at the car wash
Where all it ever does is rain
Don't you feel like you're a rider on a down bound train.

Fastball - Nowhere Road

It's a nowhere road, It's a nowhere road
No matter where it goes it's a nowhere road
It's a nowhere road and I'm tired
It's a nowhere job and I'm fired
It don't matter what they say
You can't get there going this way?

Rod Stewart - Moment of Glory

Packed up all her bags and returned to her mother
Hurt and disillusioned but never down hearted
And meanwhile back in Boston the culprit lie thinkin'
Fired from his job and missing his children

Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Just One Of Those Days

I pleaded my case but she wrote the pink slip
then I just shoke my head I said I don't beleive this
she sent me to the head of the discipline staff
I tried to play it off so I started to laugh
I said ha ha this story is great
it's a big misunderstanding one big mistake
he didn't think that it was funny he didn't even smile.

Eric Clapton - Double Trouble

Lay awake at night,
Oh so low, just so troubled.
Can't get a job,
Laid off and I'm having double trouble.

Simply Red - Money's Too Tight to Mention

I been laid off from work my rent is due
My kids all need brand new shoes
So I went to the bank to see what they could do
They said son looks like bad luck got a hold on you
Money's too tight to mention
I can't get an unemployment extension 

Ida Cox - Pink Slip Blues

Just a little pink slip, in a long white envelope
Just a little pink slip, in a long white envelope
Was the end of my road, was the last ray of my only hope
After four long years, Uncle Sam done put me on the shelf
After four long years, Uncle Sam done put me on the shelf
Cause that little pink slip means you got to go for yourself 

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But Heaven knows I'm miserable now.
I was looking for a job and then I found a job
And Heaven knows I'm miserable now.
In my life why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die? 

Another one in this link:
http://www.bluejeansplace.com/MyBluesSongs.html

Musafir ...

Saans rukti kahan hai kisis ki khatir
Ye safar to hai bas khudei ke khatir
Lamha lamha zindagi ka, lamha lamha zindagi ka hai haazir
Musafir hai, musafir

Chalte hain woh bhi jo tham jaate hain
Raaston se bhi aagey kadam jaate hain
Koi thehra kahan hai btaa phir
Koi thehra kahan hai btaa phir
Lamha lamha zindagi ka hai aakhir
Musafir hai, musafir

Baarishon ke ye mausam to pal bhar rahe
Khushak aankhon mein bheege se manzar rahe
Ek ehsaas ki ungli ko thaam ke
Tai kar raha hoon main, marhale shaam ke
Marhale shaam ke, marhale shaam ke
Lamha lamha zindagi ka hai aakhir
Musafir hai, musafir

Zindagi ko sabhi kuch kahan hai mila
Saans ka har kadam deta hai ye salaa
Jo na mila woh maujood har pal raha
Waqt mujhme hai tehra main chalta raha
Lamha lamha zindagi ka hai aakhir
Musafir hai, musafir

Song Name: Musafir
Film/Album: Lahore

Women In India... as I see it

March 8th is celebrated all over the world as the International Women's Day (IWD) and some countries like China, Russia, Bulgaria, Vietnam even declare this day as the national holiday. I am not really aware about state of women in these countries, but its such a hypocrisy on part of China to celebrate IWD. The whole world knows how Chinese authorities violates women’s human and reproductive rights by doing forced sterilizations and abortions on Tibetan Women. Anyways. My own India wont be far behind in celebrating IWD. TV channels will telecast programs and movies dedicated to women; shopping malls will give special discounts to women on this day; coffee shops and restaurants will be decorated in pink and what not. But is this one day affair is all what's required? Crime against women probably surpasses all other crimes in India, even though majority of the crimes goes unrecorded. Its high time that Indian authorities look beyond 33% reservations for women in the parliament. Just compiling the reality of the status of Indian Women in the eve of 99th International Women Day...

Female Foeticide and Infanticide: Cruelty against women are witnessed in the form of abortion of female foetus and killing of infant female. Female foetuses are selectively aborted after pre-natal sex determination, thus avoiding the birth of girls. As a result of selective abortion, between 35 and 40 million girls and women are missing from the Indian population. In some parts of the country, the sex ratio of girls to boys has dropped to less than 800:1,000 which is a matter of grave concern. Preference of male child and so called burden of marriage associated with female child is the sole cause of this crime. Although, pre-natal sex determination is illegal in India, but many many greedy doctors still do such heinous crimes.


Discrimination within household : Preference for the male child leads to gender discrimination inside the household itself. This is reflected in amount of food given to the female members of the family, which results in malnutrition and diseases related to nutritional deficiency. On the other side, women (mother, wife, even sisters) are by default considered as the cook and caretakers for the family members, which is even seen in urban Indian households.


Deprivation from the Right to Education: Indian society, specially rural India, regards girl child as a temporary member of the family, as they think girls are meant to be married off. So, an utter apathy exists for the education of children. As a result of this, female children are often deprived  from their right to education. Life is just spent caring for the husband and children and the family.


Lack of Opportunity to Work: While rural India sees female children being deprived from education, upper caste society in India prohibits their female members to work. Education is primarily meant for getting a decent bride-groom.

Dowry: Dowry is a curse for Indian women. Majority of the women related crimes in Indian society is due to dowry. Its because of dowry female foeticide and infanticide are prevalent. The need for a dowry for girl children, and the ability to demand a dowry for boys exerts considerable economic pressure on families to use any means to avoid having girls, who are seen as a liability. Dowry is demanded from the husband’s side (in-laws) when younger women get married and when it doesn't meet the greed of the husband's family, newly married women become subject to verbal and physical abuse. In many cases, young brides are burnt to death by her in-laws if the parents fail to meet the requisite dowry demanded. In the majority of cases, the legal system has no impact on the practice of dowry. It is estimated that a dowry death occurs in India every 93 minutes. Its so shameful that I see people of my generation, the so called well educated and well mannered, also expect dowry when they are getting married. They say that its a social status for their families. What The Fuck!

Other forms of Crimes Against Women: Killing of women are reported some parts of the country when they marry with someone from other caste, religion or just against the will of the family. Women are again doubted for their chastity and subjected to a lot of crimes.

Along with all these, India shares with the other countries of the world, the crimes against women like rape, molestation, sexual harassment at work places, forced pornography, prostitution etc.

Since centuries, women in India are always at the receiving end. Oppression of women are sometimes due to religious reasons. Islam permits polygamy and gives women fewer rights than men. Among Hindus, preference for the male child is likewise deeply enshrined in belief and practice. Hinduism represent the ideal woman as obedient and submissive, and always needing the care of a male: first father, then husband, then son.

The status of women in a society can be determined by their education, health, economic role, presence in the professions and management, and decision-making power within the family. It is deeply influenced by the beliefs and values of society. Awareness and enthusiasm to think and question the existing beliefs and social notions is very important to put an end to this.  Although things have improved in recent past, but we have a long way to go. Anyways, Happy Women's Day to All ...

when the days are all same ...

It becomes extremely difficult to distinguish between any two days when the days of a week are all the same. Waking up in the morning, get a cup of tea, go to office, have breakfast, work, have lunch, work, have tea, work, come back home, have dinner, watch TV and finally go to sleep. That's a long sentence, but it tell about most of the days of the year. When life becomes so mechanical, we usually forget about things which are done subconsciously. A few back days, I felt utterly confused after reaching office whether I switched off the regulator of the LPG at home. While my subconscious mind told me that I had switched it off, my conscious mind kept telling me that it was done yesterday not today. The confusion reached such a stage that I rushed back home, and checked the cylinder to find that it was properly switched off. This is just an instance of many such occurrences. Is there a cure for it ? I guess no...

Music Liveth Forever More...

I watched a movie named "The Boat that Rocked". Based on a radio station in the North Sea in 1960s. A radio station called Radio Rock that plays 24x7 Pop & Rock. Radio Rock's controversial on-air antics ruffled the feathers of a British Government minister, who left no stone unturned to pass a new law under which Radio Rock and its broadcasting becomes illegal. As the radio station was going off the air from the midnight of the 1st of January, this is something told by one of the DJs to its listeners...

To all our listeners,
this is what I have to say...God bless you all.

And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over.
Years will come, years will go.. 

And politicians will do fuck all, to make the world a better place.

But all over the world...
Young men and young women will always dream dreams
and put those dreams into song.

Nothing important dies tonight.
Just a few ugly guys on a crappy ship.

The only sadness tonight is that,
in future years,
there'll be so many fantastic songs
that it will not be our privilege to play.

But, believe you me, they will still be written.
They will still be sung
and they will be the wonder of the world.

Yes... no one can kill music ...

plagiaristically similar...

 

Song: Paisa

OST: De Dana Dan [2009]

Music Director: Pritam

Song: Y'All Want a Single

Album: Take a Look in the Mirror [2004]

Original By : Korn

my comments inline...

I liked the movie 3 Idiots, except for some craps like the child birth scene and all. I even loved the song "Give Me Some Sunshine", beautifully done by its makers. However, I somehow don't agree at all with the literal meaning of its lyrics. I don't know if I interpreted it rightly, but my comments are inline...

Saari umar hum
Mar mar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

[Myself] How do you actually define "Mar mar ke jee liye" ? If you mean that you were made to study subjects you never liked, I believe all students in India get a chance to select their choice of subjects after 10th Standard. If you were made to study subjects like history, geography, civics etc till 10th standard and you were actually interested in science and mathematics, that was for your good only. I think little knowledge of those things are necessary for overall development of a human being. Because later when you are grown up, you wont be able to corelate things in life. For Example, you dont have a basic knowledge of geography, I bet you wont understand the weather phenomenon. You did not learn civics, and now you dont know about the basic structure of our government and so on. You did learn English properly, dont know grammers and composition; will you be able to write a proper email or make a good presentations ? Think about it.

Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again

[Myself] No body debar you from growing up intellectually. If you were pressurised to study or compete with your peers by your parents beyond your capability, you should have had a discussion with your parents regarding your problems and concerns. They are your parents, not your boss. Even bosses in corporate world look for the overall growth of their employees; so your parents would have definitely listen to you.

Kandhon ko kitabon
Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Rishvat dena to khud
Papa ne sikhaya
99% marks laaoge to ghadi, varna chhadi

[Myself] About the loads of books, I understand the problem and I think all concerned schools have already taken up measures for this. As of me, I never had this problem. So, it wont make justice if I comment on it. As of giving bribes, no body teaches you to bribe people. You bribe people because you need a shortcut, or dont want to take the pain of standing in queues. As of bribing for getting government jobs and all other similar things, we have to collaborate among ourselves to end this evil. How many of us really give a thought on this ? We all have the "chalta hain" attitude and this is eating the morale of the countrymen like the termites. Again, its a bad things to bargain with your parents or guardians for material things in lieu of good marks in examinations.

Likh likh kar pada hatheli par
Alpha, beta, gamma ka chaala
Concentrated H2SO4 ne poora
Poora bachpan jalaa daala

[Myself] Okay, it means you were interested in Literature but you were forced to go for science subjects. If you were so determined with your decisions why didn't you try to have a discussion with your parents. OK, you were unable to convince and you failed in 11th. Was it the end of the world ? Speak up your mind and change the stream. Your life is in your hand, atelast with the decisions you take in life. So, think about it and just do it. I am not trying to be a personality development teacher here, its just a commonsense dude.

Bachpan to gaya
Jawani bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do

Bachpan to gaya
Jawani bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do

[Myself] I was expected to be a doctor by my parents as my elder brother opted for engineering. But, I never wanted to be a doctor for my fear of blood and all. So, I spoke out my mind and even did not opt for biology as a subject. Although I am not a very successful person now, but atleast I don't carry that feeling that my "bachpan" and "jawani" got wasted.

Saari umar hum
Mar mar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
Jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again

[Myself] The whole of these lyrics signify the life of a coward and timid person to me. And, it was infact evident from the movie when the singer of this song ended his life. But Suraj Jagan (Ex vocalist of Chakraview, the legendary rock band of 90's) beautifully sang this song and the I loved the acoustic tune a lot too.

End of Terror Free Break...

So, perpetrators striked my city yesterday evening... German Bakery, an iconic hangout place in Koregaon Park known for the Osho Ashram, a number of food joints and homes of some of the richest people of the city, and a place frequented by foreigners. But is that the end of the ambiance of Koregaon Park or KP, as we name it ? Come on, give me a fucking break. History says, where there are civilised people, there are uncivilized ones. And often these uncivilized beasts are laggards who will try to pull behind the civilized ones by doing these types of heinous deeds of killing innocent people. Terrorism is something we have to live with it, and the people who preach terror, like the carriers of germs are something who will keep doing their filthy stuffs. And probably there is no vaccine for that. Lets bear the brunt of neighboring the beasts for 60 years now. And, we think of having aman ki aasha, having peace projects with them. What the Fuck? But I still think about those people who live here, eat here, drink here, but also provide logistics for carrying out such flagitious deeds ...  While the friends and families of the victims will have to live with the consequences forever, the incident will soon be forgotten. Probably we Indians believe in life goes on to such an extent that we end up feeding mutter-paneer to terrorist in jail and comforting him for more than a year now. Because we still follow the saying that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", let the beasts bordering us make all of us blind. We wont retaliate. Lets do bilateral peace talks, hold peace projects, while they laugh at us. Shame on Us !!! We were safe for last 14 months... too long a time without a terror attack in India. And, we have it now.

Valentine's Day Songs for the Single

As I was surfing through the music channels in my idiot box, I saw a number of love songs collection albums being released for Valentine's Day. But has anyone thought about a musical album for the single or the uncoupled? So, I came up with such a list of songs:

• Everybody Hurts (R.E.M)
• Funeral of Hearts (HIM)
• Go Your Own Way (Fleetwood Mac)
• Love Bites (Def Leppard)
• Whiskey In The Jar (Metallica)
• She Hates Me (Puddle of Mud)
• You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
• Everything About You (Ugly Kid Joe)
• Tainted Love (Depeche Mode)
• Love Hurts (Nazareth)
• Used to Love Her (Guns 'N Roses)
• Valentine's Day (Linkin Park)

"Q" or Kyun ?

Whenever I stand in a queue waiting for my turn, a question always arises in my mind. "Why an average Indian don't respect the queue ?" I really don't know what goes in the mind of a person who never (or want to) respect the queue ? Is it a mere ignorance or a sign of arrogance ? Recently, I was standing in the queue of departmental store waiting for the billing, I saw a lady in her mid thirties with a kid suddenly breaking the queue and joining another queue. Another lady who was already in that queue protested, but this lady just replied that she saw no one when she came and started putting all her stuffs in the billing desk. The poor billing guy seemed helpless. I kept observing such incidents. Many times a polite remark of "Please Come in the Queue"  works, but sometimes not. Here is something for such "Breaking the Queue" type of people...

Do you feel more important than the people queuing in front of you?
-> Start having respect for others. Respect for one another let the world go. Even the planets in the solar system respects each other, just avoiding a collision.

Do you assume you are in a legitimate hurry whilst the other people on the queue may be in no rush at all?
-> If your are in real hurry and will miss your train and you have very few items to bill, just share it with the people ahead of you.
 
Do you assume your time is more precious than the next person’s?
-> Its high time that you rethink again.

Do you feel it is demeaning to wait in line for your turn?
-> You are wrong. Your respect for the queue and other people in the queue will show that you are a well mannered and well cultured person.  


We were once told in school by our Principal while queuing for something that the rule of thumb to maintain the queue is to remember who is infront of you. And, I still follow it. We should always know that its our behavior which ultimately is our identity. So stop behaving like "Kyun" [Why] when you are in a "Q" !!! 

Save The Tigers

A recent census showed that there are only 1411 tigers left in our country. Our national animal is on the verge of extinction !!! Doesn't it mean that our glory is at stake ? Its our own greed and selfishness which has almost wiped out this animal from the face of the planet; so now its our responsibility to wake up and do something. I am not very optimistic that we will succeed, but here is a small try ... something to make people aware. I know no poachers will see this video, but may be just for my own mental satisfaction. At least I wont repent that I did not offer my 20 cents ...  I don't want to watch a movie called Tigris Park five years down the line based on a extinct creature called Tigers !!!

Endangered species, caged in fright
Shot in cold blood, no chance to fight
The stage is set, now pay the price
An ego boost, don't think twice
Technology, the battle's unfair
You pull the hammer without a care
Squeeze the trigger that makes you Man
Pseudo-safari, the hunt is canned...
The hunt is canned

All are gone, all but one
No contest, nowhere to run
No more left, only one
This is it, this is the Countdown to Extinction

Tell the truth, you wouldn't dare
The skin and trophy, oh so rare
Silence speaks louder than words
Ignore the guilt, and take your turn
Liars anagram is "lairs"
Man you were never even there
Killed a few feet from the cages
Point blank, you're so courageous...
So courageous

All are gone, all but one
No contest, nowhere to run
No more left, only one
This is it, this is the Countdown to Extinction

One hour from now,
another species of life form
will disappear off the face of the planet
forever...and the rate is accelerating

All are gone, all but one
No contest, nowhere to run
No more left, only one
This is it, this is the Countdown to Extinction

Cabin Fever

A few days back I watched Jack Nicholson starer, a 1980 flick, The Shining. Its one of those spine-chilling movies I ever watched. All Work No Play, Makes Jack A Dull Boy stuff was the best. Another one was the young kid uttering REDRUM in a sense of trance and writing it in the doors, the mirror image of which spell MURDER. Jack was driven crazy by the cabin fever or solitary confinement in the hotel. I often proudly say to my colleagues and friends that I can spend days and days inside the house, totally solo, like I did during the year end break last year. There is nothing called cabin fever which can affect me. But, lemme rethink now. I say, I can spend time in a solo state for days and days; but I get crazy even if my internet is down for more than one day or my TV subscription is over. But given a chance, I would surely like to experience a Cabin Fever, not in a scary place like the Overlook Hotel, but some place else, more decent. A TV with all sorts of channels, unlimited food supplies, some basic medicines, a dog (preferably a Labrador Retriever), lots of books (fictions mainly) and lots of DVDs should be enough to spend 2-3 months atleast, I suppose. And, the place should be a cold place and with snowfalls if possible. Hello.... wake up.. there is nothing called even a Free cabin fever !!!

Free Bird

I was watching a flick called The Devil Rejects, a so so type of horror, serial killer etc type movie. What I liked most is the back ground score. And I liked the musical score that was being played towards the end of the movie. Its Free Bird by Lynard Skynard. Awesome guitar. This song also featured in Guitar Hero - II.

 

remembering the perfidies...

To be born in a free country is a great feeling. But how does one define freedom ? Is it the state of not being under a foreign rule ? But how does one define a foreigner ? Difference in color, religion, race, caste, creed .... ? I don't know. For me freedom is just the freedom of thoughts and expression. I ask myself, Am I Free ? Oh Yes... I am free. I have the privilege of exercising RTI act. But I know I may be killed for doing so. Anyways, I woke up today at around 9:30 in the morning. I was woken not by my alarm clock or by my thoughts of "it's time for office". But someone in the neighbor was playing "Aye Mere Watan Ke Logo" (ए मेरे वतन के लोगों) ("O! the people of my country!") at the loudest possible volume and I realized that its Republic Day today and its a Holiday. I picked up the Times of India and it says its the 60th Republic Day. Good. At least this day can be celebrated as a betrayal day. How we betrayed ourselves, betrayed with the dream of our fore fathers for this country !!! The country was a child then. The child is grown now and the dream is gone. Lets all just wish for a day that there will be a time when India will be a country where people have the freedom to think and act the righteous things. I utilized the Republic Day holiday to clean my house and my clothes...