A Resume of a Different Kind

Some terrorists managed to put Mumbai in a stand still. These killing machines were trained to their jaws in inflicting terror. I thought, what must be the pre-requisite to enroll into those misguided Islamic Terror Outfits like LeT or Harkat-ul-Mujaheddin? I could think about the resume of such an aspirant.

[Some Name]


Objective : Seeking a career in terrorism which will give me the opportunity and platform to kill members of other communities in the name of our God; attain Heaven and Houris after my death.

Summary :

1. 3 yrs. of experience in Terrorism with IM.
   
2. Extensive misinterpreted knowledge of our Religion.
3. Very religious, follow complete etiquette and rules.
4. Have experience of planting bombs in crowded markets which have killed atmost 20 people.
5. Experience of engagement in planning and implementation of Serial Blasts.
   
6. Competent, cooperative and have the right team spirit, provided all my team members belong to the same religion as mine.

Technical Skills :

1. Hands on experience with country made revolvers.
   
2. Make bombs with explosives like amonium nitrate.
3. Working knowledge of 9mm revolvers, hand grenades
   
4. Acquinted with knowledge of RDX, AK-47, Light Machine Guns.

Profesional Experience :

dd/mm/yyyy - Present

1. Placed 1 Bomb in XYZ market which killed 20 people (on dd/mm/yyyy).
2. Involved directly in Serial Blasts with killed 100+ people (on dd/mm/yyyy).

Trainings:

1. Attended some indepth traings by ABC (ABC Certifed Misguided Religious Person).
2. Attanded bomb making institute in PoK.
3. Trainings in hacking into email ids / wireless routers.
   

I cerify that all the above information are correct in the name of God.

Sincerely Yours,
[Some Name]

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