The Power of NOW !!!

Reflection of Quarter Life Crisis or harmful effects of some One Sided Love/Affection or personal problems or just a normal age related problem... I don't know. But, one thing is really true to me. I AM CONFUSED. I have repeatedly written about it in my blogs with the hope that the Pandora's Box will be opened someday and I will get a way through, but all in vain. I could never really find an answer. Recently, one of my friends advised me to try spirituality. So, with an impulse I bought the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Till now just read the forward and preface of the book, and found it very encouraging. The book teaches how to attain inner peace and spiritual enlightenment just with the power of our mind, without really changing the external factors which are usually the root causes of the psychological pain most of us suffer from. But this can be done only if we leave our analytical mind and its false created self, the ego, behind. The journey is challenging and difficult. One para from the book states like this...

"I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train - everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live.
......
I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. `Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the `I' and the `self' that `I' cannot live with." "Maybe," I thought, "only one of them is real."

Hence I get the silver lining. Lemme see, what in store for me...

Madhushala (The Tavern)

An English Translation of the golden classic Madhushaala by Hariwansh Rai Bachhan

Seeking wine, the drinker leaves home for the tavern.
Perplexed, he asks, "Which path will take me there?"
People show him different ways, but this is what I have to say,
"Pick a path and keep walking. You will find the tavern."

Hark! The wine gurgles and splashes as it falls from the goblet.
Hark! It sounds like the tinkling of bells on the feet of an intoxicated girl.
We have reached there, a few steps are we from the tavern,
Hark! Hear the laughter of the drinkers, as the fragrance of the tavern wafts through the air.

Call it not lava, though it flows red, like a tongue of flame.
Call it not the blistered heart, for it is only foaming wine.
Lost memories serve the wine, that intoxicates with pain.
If you find happiness in suffering, come to my tavern.

He who has burnt all scriptures with his inner fire,
Has broken temples, mosques and churches with carefree abandon,
And has cut the nooses of pandits, mullahs and priests ---
Only he is welcome in my tavern.

Alas, he that with eager lips, has not kissed this wine,
Alas, he that trembling with joy, has not touched a brimming goblet,
He that has not drawn close the coy wine-maiden by her hand,
Has wasted this honey-filled tavern of Life.

My beloved wine-maiden seems a priest; her wine as pure as the Ganga's waters.
With unbroken pace, she rotates the rosary of wine glasses.
"Drink more! Drink more!" she intones in prayer.
I am Shiva incarnate and this tavern is my temple.

Only once every year, the fires of Holi are lit.
Only once is the game played and are garlands of lamps lit.
But, O, those who are lost in the world, come and see the tavern any day,
The tavern celebrates a Holi, every morning and a Diwali every night.

Whatever the taste on my lips, it tastes like wine.
Whatever the vessel in my hands, it feels like a goblet.
Every face dissolves into the features of my wine-maiden,
And whatever be in front of my eyes, they fill only with visions of the tavern.

Ah, Beautiful, your lovely face is like a crystal bowl,
Whose precious gem is your beauty, sparkling like sweet, intoxicating wine.
I am the wine-maiden and I am the guest.
Where sit we together, there indeed is the tavern.

A mere two days she served me but the young maiden is sulking now.
She fills my goblet and passes it curtly to me.
Her coquetry and charms are lost arts;
All the tavern wishes now is to fulfil its obligations.

Life is short. How much love can I give and how much can I drink?
They say, "He departs," at the very moment that he is born.
While he is being welcomed, I have seen his farewell being prepared.
They started closing the shutters of the tavern, as soon as they were raised.

O maiden! Which burning heart has been pacified by drinking?
Every drinker repeats only one chant, "More! More!"
Seeking satisfaction, he leaves behind so many desires.
Of how many such hopes is this tavern a tomb?

Yama will come as the wine-maiden and bring his black wine,
Drink, and know no more consciousness, O carefree one.
This is the ultimate trance, the ultimate wine-maiden and the ultimate goblet.
O traveller, drink judiciously, for you will never find the tavern again.

Each day, O companion, spills more wine from my life.
Each day, O fortunate one, this goblet, my body, is burnt.
Each day, O lovely woman, this wine-maiden, my youth, distances itself from me.
Each day, O beauty, this tavern, my Life, is drying up.

When from the earthen jar of my body, the wine of life is emptied,
When the final wine-maiden comes with her bowl of poison,
When my hand forgets the touch of the goblet, and my lips the taste of wine,
Whisper in my ears, "the wine, the goblet, the tavern!"

Touch not my lips with tulasi, but with the goblet, when I die.
Touch not my tongue with the Ganga's waters, but with wine, when I die.
When you bear my corpse, pallbearers, remember this!
Call not the name of God, but call to the truth that is the tavern.

Weep over my corpse, if you can weep tears of wine.
Sigh dejectedly for me, if you are intoxicated and carefree.
Bear me on your shoulders, if you stumble drunkenly along.
Cremate me on that land, where there once was a tavern.

Pour on my ashes, not ghee, but wine.
Tie to a vine of grapes, not a waterpot, but a wine-goblet.
And when, my darling, you must call guests for the ritual feast,
Do this - call those who will drink and have the tavern opened for them.

If anyone asks my name, say it was, "The Drunkard".
My work? I drank and passed the goblet to everyone.
O Beloved, if they ask my caste, say only that I was mad.
Say my religion worshipped goblets and then chant with your rosary, "The tavern, the tavern!"

O son, raise not water at my final rites, but wine in your palms.
And sit somewhere, having filled the Ganga with wine.
If you can wet the earth somewhere, my soul will be satisfied.
Offer your libations to your ancestral spirits by reading repeatedly, "The tavern, the tavern."

********************************************************************************

Madhushaala

I SALUTE Hariwansh Rai Bachhan WHO HAS RICHEN THE INDIAN LITERATURE THROUGH THIS CLASSIC....

madira meiN jaane ko ghar se chaltaa hai peenewaala
kis path se jaaooN asmanjas meiN hai wo bhola bhaala
alag alag pathu batalaathi sab paR maiN ye bataata hooN
raah pakaD tu ek chalaa-chal paa jaayega madhushaala

sun kal-kal chal-chal madhu-ghaT se girti pyalOn meiN haala
sun run Jhun-Jhun chal witran karti madhusa ki baala
bas aa pahunche door nahiN kuch chaar kadam aur chalna hai
chahak rahe sun peene waale mehak rahi le madhushaala

naal sura kee dhaar lapaT see keh na dena ise jwaaLa
madira hai math isko keh dena uRR ka chaala
dard nasha hai is madira ka wigat smritiyaN saaqi haiN
peeDa meiN anand jise ho aaye meri madhushaala

dharm-grandh sab jala chuki hai jiske antar kee jwaala
mandir masjid girje sab ko toD chuka jo matwaala
panDit momin paadriyoN ke fandoN ko jo kaat chuka
kar sakti hai aaj usee ka swaagat meri madhushaala

laalayeet adhRoN se jisne haaye nahiN choomi haala
harshit kampit kar se jisne haay madhu ka chooaa pyaala
haath pakaD kar lajjit saaqi ko paas nahiN jisne kheencha
wyarth sukha Daali jeewan kee usne mahdumay madhushaala

bane pujaari premi saaqi ganga jal paawan haala
rahe ferta awirat gati se madhu ke pyaaloN kee maala
aur leeye jaa aur peeye jaa isi mantr ka jaap keeye jaa
maiN shiv ki pratima ban baiThooN mandir ho ye madhushaala

ek baras meiN ek baar hee jagti holi kee jwaala
ek baar hee lagti baaji jalti deepoN kee maala
duniya waaloN kintu kisi din aa madiraalay meiN dekho
din meiN holi raat diwaali roz manaati madhushaala

adharon par ho koee bhi ras jiwha par lagti haalaa
han jag ho koee haathon mein lagta rakkha hae pyaalaa
har surat saaqi ki surat mein parivartit ho jaati
aankhon ke aage ho kuchh bhi aankhon mein hae Madhushaalaa.

sumukhi tumhara sundar mukh hi mujh ko kanchan kaa pyaalaa
chhalak rahi hai jisme maNik roop madhur maadak haalaa
maiN hi saaqi banta maiN hi peene waala banta hoon
jahan kahin mil baithe hum tum wahiN gaee ho madhushaala

do din hee madhu muJhe pilaa kar oob uthi saaqi baalaa
bhar kar ab khiska detee hai woh mere aage pyaalaa
naaz-o-adaa andaazon se ab haaye pilaanaa door hua
ab to kar detee hai kewal farz-adaaee madhushaalaa

choTe se jeewaN meiN kitna pyaar karooN peelooN haala
aane ke hee saath jagat meiN kehlaaya jaane-waala
swaagat ke hee saath wida ki hothi dekhi tayyaari
band lagi hone khulte hee meri jeewan madhushaala

saant saki ho ab taq saaqi peekar kis uRR kee jwaala
aur aur ki raTan lagaata jaata har peene-waala
kitni iKsha ek har jaaNe-waala yahaN choD jaata
kitne aRmaanoN kee bankar qaBr khaDi hai madhushaala

yam aayega saaqi bankar saath liye kaali haala
pee na hosh meiN phir aayega sura wisudh yeh matwaala
yeh antim behoshi antim saaqi antim pyaala hai
pathiK pyaar se peena isko fir na milegee madhushaala

girti jaati hai din-pratidin pRanayani pRaanoN kee haala
maGn hua jaata din-pratidin deen subhge mera tan pyaala
rooth raha hai muJhse roop si din-din yauwan ka saaqi
sookh rahi hai din-din sundari meri jeewan madhushaala

Dhalak rahee ho tan ke ghaT se sangini jab jeewanhaala
paaTr garal ka le ab antiM saaqi ho aanewaala
haath paras bhoole pyaale ka swaad sura jiWha bhoole
kaanoN meiN tum kehti rehna madhuKaNN pyaala madhushaala

mere aDharoN par ho na antiM wastu na tulsi-jal pyaala
mere JiWha par ho antiM wastu na ganga-jal haala
mere shaV ke peeche chalne-waaloN yaad ise rakhna
ram-naam hai satya na kehna kehna sachchi madhushaala

mere shaV par wah roYe ho jiske aaNsoo meiN haala
aaH bhare wah jo ho surbhit madeera peekar matwaala
de muJhko wo kaandha jinke pad-mad dag-mag hoNte ho
aur jalooN uss Thaur jahaN par kabhi rahee ho madhushaala

aur chitha par jaaye unDela paatR na ghRith ka par pyaala
GhanT bandhe angoor latha meiN madhya na jal ho par haala
praan-priye yadi SHraadH karO tum mera to aise karna
peene-waaloN ko bulwa kar khulwa dena madhushaala

naam agar pooche koi to kehna bas peene-waala
kaam garal na aur dhaalna sab ke madiroN ka pyaala
jaati priYe pooche yadi koi keh dena deewanoN kee
dharM batana pyaaloN ki le maala japna madhushaala

pitR paKsh meiN putR uThana araGYan na kar meiN par pyaala
baiTh kahiN par jaana ganga sagar meiN bharkar haala
kisi jagaH kee miTTi bheege tRipti muJhe mil jaaYegee
darpan arpan karna muJhko paDh paDh karke "madhushaala"

********************************************************************************
Lyrics : Hariwansh Rai Bachhan
Music : Jaidev
Voices : Hariwansh Rai Bachhan, Manna Dey

One Sided Love

I was feeling like writing about One Sided Love for many time now. Found some nice sentimental blogs on the same topic in the net. Really a lot many of us suffer from this. Writing some anecdotes about it...

One Sided Love is like reaching for a star, you know you'll never reach it but you still keep trying.

Many people have different views about it ...

...we have all probably been on both sides of the fence. The guy/girl that really liked you and your friends or family knew he/she was right for you but u just never felt that spark. you hung out etc etc. Its life, it happens. Its human nature... to try to make some one like and/or love you. But hey all we can do is learn from these lessons of LIFE. These lessons are real, difficult, easy and complicated at the same time.

...Love is definitely the gift and the curse. Just like most everyone else, I've been on both sides of it. Hell, I'm on both sides of it now. You can't help who you fall for or who falls for you.

Love.. How can something so damn wonderful in essence be torture too.... !

One sided love is like two parallel lines which never intersect at any point.... but we still try try and try .... its so unfortunate to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you.... I just want to be loved by him/her once even if its for a moment ...and I will try for it till I am alive !!! I know it sounds a bit childish, gross and filmy but Its true!!

One sided love isn't a nice feeling. You feel desperate for his or her love. You begin to feel he or she takes you for granted. You get back from him or her only a miserable fraction of what you give. You're constantly worried about losing him or her.
Does that sound like love to you? It sounds kind of one-sided and like a waste of time to me...

... if both sides love equals then none of the partners will really enjoy what love means...!!!

... love is never wasted, regardless of the other's participation. There is always a lesson and a next step in your own Spiritual Unfoldment. Love and learn. Note though, the difference between love and attachment. Actual love always considers the other's point of view and acts with regard for the highest and best in the other. Attachment only looks for self-gratification.

it is like fencing a duel with an imaginary opponent... better love and be loved than not love at all... sometimes, if not love at first sight, love begins from one...and then meets response... if there is no response for a 'considerable time' (depends on your sanity), then it is no more love... it is just fascination...madness... love has to be mutual to grow....

One sided love is no love at all and it is dangerous as you can become maniac and will permanently incapacitate you to realise the values of love as attribute for healthy living.Try to be trasparent,open ,understanding ,trusting and learning to love....

one sided love is not actually love, it is an infatuation, if the one loving is not being loved in return then its a very harsh thing that happens all day, everyday all over the world and i think it really sucks and is not cool because it can make people feel like crap. it has happened to me and took me way longer than it should have to break free from it and i feel for the ones currently in that situation, because it hurts and u must be strong... i mean i still love the girl, but I am just not letting him know and trying my hardest to move on...

ONE SIDED LOVE. Plz don't think me a cynic. One sided lovers r generally sick. They r timid, shy or irritating. Their love is always illusionary they live in dreams wasting their energy, time, contacts n most importantly LIFE. If one cannot turn his one sided love into two sided then better he stop, if not he will end up losing his self respect, concentration, friends finally himself.
Don't go by the filmy style of love, its confined to films only not to life. Ur life and people around you (family, friends) are more important than this bug. love is true but its perfect if and only it unites two.

Make it two way or break it mid way.

well, most of us have experienced this atleast once in their life time. One Sided Love is seriously very painful. So, its always better to cut it midway. But, I feel love just happens; nobody start loving someone by starting with #include love.h . You never know how it started... !!! So, One Sided Love can only be regarded as an unfortunate chapter in one's life and more sooner its closed, the better is for the person.

one year... countless thoughts

time and tide seriously don't wait for anyone... with the 2nd week of the 10th month of the year now going, I really find it difficult to figure out how the year 2007 passed off. However 2007 seems to be one of the most different year of my life. As I can rightly christen it as a year full of credits, losses, countless emotions, numerous sentiments and the list goes on. Sometime ago, I felt that I should not write my own stuffs in my blog, because blog is a place which is always exposed to the world. But the next moment I felt that the people around me are too busy to peep into my life through my blog. My blog has been a great friend of mine throughout this year, whom I approached when I was down or in the days of celebration. My blog is a good listener to me and so I love it the most. Year 2007 was the year when I spent the maximum amount of time in a solitary and lonesome mode. Never in my life, I could give so much of time just to myself. This year was professionally too good for me. I worked very hard in some months of the year and I got credited for that to my satisfaction. I also spent some of the nicest time with my friends. Two memorable events was the Goa trip in March and Alibaugh outing in September. But year 2007 was not always kind to me. I had to encounter some very depressing moments in this year. There were times when a sense of despair ruled my heart and soul in this year. Some posts in my blog rightly reflects those. Although those moments were extremely difficult to face on my part, but somehow everything was managed. I won't go into any more details about those worst mo of 2007. Everytime, I thought the Sun would shine tomorrow, but it rained. Nevertheless, I learnt a lot of things from those sucking times which may be helpful in living life in a better way in the future. Now as just only 2 months to go for another new year, I hope its fruitful to wait and watch the future. As someone rightly said, it can't rain all the time. The year 2007 was a year of countless thoughts for me. I saw and came across some real pictures of life... and also to some extent I tried discovering myself all through this year. Closing this post with the optimistic notion that not all who wander are lost...